dial

The thing on your t.v. or radio that you turn to turn off music or shows that you deem "offensive". Puritans like the FCC and PTC seem to have no concept that this exists and believe that they need to censor everything in existance so there children grow up to be comfortably numb victims.

If you don't like what's on your t.v. use the dial and change the channel dumbass.

23👍 15👎

shitwagon

A car in piss poor condition that not even a hobo would sleep in. Usually smells like the county landfill from it's previous owners' offspring spilling soda and crapping their pants in the backseats. Called a shitwagon because of it's similarity to what a farmer hauls fertilizer in.

Jim's car is a total shitwagon.

12👍 2👎

drive-in

A really lousy place to watch movies or go for a date. You get to watch the movie on a screen a mile away and listen to it on scratchy antique speakers.

Supposedly you could make out there. That is if you ignore the minivan full of retarded hilljack kids gawking at you all damn day. It's also a great place to get herpes as the bathrooms haven't been cleaned since sometime during the `70s.

Drive-ins were really popular during the 70s.

20👍 21👎

assclown

Someone who considers it his or her sworn to duty to act like a complete ass at all times.
Assclownery: the act of being an assclown.

Anybody from the show jackass is an assclown

227👍 132👎

fantasy sports

A great way to make sure sex won't be happening and you'll be spending lots of time sitting around the basement with a bunch of fat sweaty dorks.

Guy: I'm in severe danger of getting laid. This chick is nympho who ain't had sex in a month whaddo I Do?
Buddy: Don't worry I'll save you with some fantasy sports. Bros befo hos.

85👍 65👎

college

A huge waste of money. You'll spend assloads to get a worthless degree. Once you get out you will spend every single second of your day being harassed by the AES nazis while you're struggling to find a job. Don't laugh too hard at the guy at McDonald's flipping hamburgers you'll be there too once you graduate and more than likely he'll be your manager.

You also get the joy of listening to a bunch of dumbass ex-hippy professors try to fill your head with Communism and pointless dogma that's as worthless as tits on a bull in the real world.

Spending your student loan on lottery tickets is a more realistic goal than hoping to land a decent job with your degree.

Jim went to college and was a pompous ass thinking he'd get a great job out of it. Now he mows lawns.

408👍 138👎

Snus

A great alternative for when you can't smoke. Camel Snus is the best. Such a sin only a fistful of stores on the east coast sell it. You can also save the little tin for stuff like loose change. While the tin says the flavor lasts up to 30 minutes I have chewed some for up to 3 hours.

I do Snus because it gives me knowledge.

77👍 122👎