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as a verb, to completely scramble the intended message of anything in a jaw-droppingly stupid way. Usage: past tense: phelped, present tense: phelping
as a noun, one who performs the actions of the verb. Usage: to be a phelp. calling someone a phelper is also acceptable.
Rick: So I told Julie about the shooting at that nursery school where all those toddlers died and she phelped, saying it's because Eris and Pluto want her to color her hair Cheshire Cat Green even though The Flying Spaghetti Monster forbids colors other than Prego Red and Kraft Nuclear Orange after Samhain in the Fourth Dimension squared with a cherry on top.
Mickey Mouse: That's fucked up dude. She's a true phelp if there ever was one.
Freddy Krueger: I told you that bitch crazy, yo.
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The act of attaching weapons-grade drama to mostly meaningless events. It can be related to placing first in the Special Olympics or winning a flame-war, but it's more like placing sixth and thinking you won--and then trying to rub it in everyone's face.
The story comes from the "beauty pageant" in the semi-rural Utah town of Brigham City held every year during the second week of September as part of the Peach Days festival. It means about as much as the package being carried by the deliveryman in a porn film.
Note: The winner of this pageant is no longer called the Peach Queen.
Justin: What the hell's up with Julie? She's acting like she's better than everyone.
Aaron: Christ. She's been peachqueening all week about getting her GED. That would be good if she was 16. But she's 31.
Julie: Hey, losers. I just graduated! I got my high school diploma! And a $.50 raise!
Justin: It's a GED, not a diploma. And you're still a cashier.
Aaron: *doesn't say anything because he's laughing too hard*
Julie: You're just jealous because you haven't graduated yet, little boy. You still have three months to go.
Aaron: *almost choking* Yeah, three months of Grad School!
Justin: Oh, c'mon, GED does have as many letters as... PhD.
Julie: Yeah, but it's later in the alphabet so I'm better. *skips away, all 250 "free with coupon Oreo"-fed pounds of her*
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n. Someone who farts in the bathwater and attempts to bite the bubbles. The term is the same whether they are successful or not.
Kyle: *farts in the swimming pool* I darfed.
Rick: That's not a darf. You have to try to bite the bubbles.
Kyle: *flaps his arms like a retarded kid while making strange noises*
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