Lamb Hammock

A sexual maneuver involving two spatulas and a generous amount of bacon grease.

Kid: Mommy, can I have bacon for breakfast?
Mommy: (cutting fruit for the child's lunch) No honey your father and I used it last night.
Kid: Why?
Mommy: Adult stuff.
Kid: Why?
Mom: Because you're too young.
Kid: Oh yea? fuck, shit, buttsex, fisting, procrastibating-
Mom: Okay, okay you've proved your point. We were lamb hammocking last night.
Kid: Why?
Mom: We wanted to try something the kids were doing these days.
Kid: Why?
Mom: To put the spark back in our marriage.
Kid: Why?
Mom: So your father and I don't kill you.
awkward silence
Mom: (goes back to cutting fruit, this time more agressively) So how's school child?

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