Kristen Stewart

Useless, ugly pile of white trash who horribly portrays Bella Swan in the movie "Twilight." Off set, she excessively smokes pot and crosses her eyes. Makes bad choices like getting a black mullet to make her look like a man. On set, she is a dumb he-she who gets to kiss Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner; also excessively crosses her eyes. Be careful when talking to her; she has an atrocious stutter and does not make straight eye contact.

Random Person: Hey, how did that mirror break ?

Other Random Person: Oh, I tried to put a picture of Kristen Stewart on it.

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Catherine Hardwicke

Worst movie/ casting director ever to be born. Uses the word "sexy" excessively, and ruined the movie "Twilight." One of the main causes of global warming.

How Catherine Hardwicke causes global warming: casting Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan.

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