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Random
A particularly juicy, wet turd induced by gut wrenching Mexican food.
Cinco was awesome this year but the wet tamale experience the next day, not so much.
I paid that dirty prostitute $50 to take a dump on my glass table while I watched underneath and she pinched a wet tamale. Took a whole bottle of windex to get it streak free.
Stewing and brewing up a massive shit. Usually hallmarked by horrendous gut gurgling and flatulence.
Iâm not feeling well. Iâve been crockpottinâ all day. Iâm about to blow.
That curry dinner last night has me crockpottinâ.
The rumbling of my gutâs crockpottinâ resulted in me wrecking the office toilet so bad they had to call janitorial services.
Eating ass. Offering up oneâs ass for a little salad tossing.
I got home and she was naked, on all fours, serving up salad. So I had to toss it.
Using your girlâs panties as a wet spot barrier between her ass and your expensive bed sheets.
The panties are removed in anticipation of oral sex or coitus then spread smoothly under her ass like a place mat to catch her wetness, squirt and eventually your busted nut that leaks down the taint.
Thanks to the Texas place mat, I was able to have a nice dry post nut nap.
Himalayan Butt Plug
Shoving an ice cube up oneâs own or their partnerâs ass.
He was hitting me from behind last night and took my breath away when he surprised me with a Himalayan butt plug.
Can you get frost nite from a Himalayan butt plug? Asking for a friend.
Receiving a vigorous hand job, while in a car, parked in the lot behind the local Kroger.
I was raging wood so the old lady pulled off and gave me a fresh favorite.
The new bag boy gave me a fresh favorite on break.
My lunch break today consisted of a deli platter and a fresh favorite.
The amalgam of semen and vaginal secretions leaked after coitus into the gusset of a femaleâs panties.
I have got to do a load of wash. I have no panties so Iâm going commando until I get these cleaned of all the panty custard.
I hooked up with a tinder date last night that lived two hours a way. It was a long drive home and I could feel the panty custard leaking the whole way home.