Meat Jelly

Lubricant used for male masturbation. Can be a commercially produced sexual aid product or whatever one chooses to slather on and nut one out.

I keep my meat jelly in the night stand. I’ll run one out tonight.

I used my mom’s face cream for my meat jelly this morning.

I had to dry rub this morning cause I had nothing for meat jelly.

Portuguese Bend

A curvature of the penis developed from habitual masturbation. The Portuguese Bend develops to the left or the right depending upon one’s hand preference for wanking.

My roommate walked out of the shower. I couldn’t believe his Portuguese Bend. Definitely a lefty wanker.

I remember when my penis was rigidly straight. But years of watching porn has resulted in a wicked Portuguese Bend. Perhaps if I wank with my left hand I can straighten back out.

Knockin’ Chunks

Anal sex with someone with a filthy stank ass fart box. Usually results in shit dick and knob dob.

Man I put it to that homeless dude behind the dumpster but I tell you it was knockin’ chunks.

I banged the chick from the food delivery. She’s as DTF so I hit it from the back and was knockin’ chunks.

Ankle Drop

Coping a squat in public and dropping a massive turd between your feet.

Performed intentionally as a joke or revengeful act or out of pure desperation because one needs to shit and there is no restroom or no time to get to one.

I was on a run on the trail when my little puckerhole started to squeeze. The protein shake was not going to stay inside. I had no choice but to do an ankle drop right there in the trail. The rest of the run was a bit sticky.

I did an ankle drop on my ex wife’s doormat.

Turdjugal Visit

A hook up strictly for an ass hammering session of vigorous anal sex.

Oh he came over last night for a turdjugal visit. I took 8 before I had to tap out.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. All the family will be here and I can expect my uncle will want to have a turdjugal visit with me during halftime.

My grades improved after offering my professor an occasional turdjugal visit.

The old lady got a little drunk and horny last night so I got a turdjugal visit. She been on the shitter all day trying to snap a plug.

Harambe Handy

When she/he got that gorilla grip and damn near rips your dick off jacking it.

She was a nubile but damn she gave me a Harambe handy and almost tore it off.

I let my bro use my brohole cause he needed to bust. I was expecting a gratuitous reach around but he gave me a Harambe handy.

Texas Broiler

Intentionally depriving oneself from taking a shit for several days in order to amass the largest, fastest and voluminous crap as possible.

Gestation is complete for the broiler when the gut is percolating and sloshing and the sphincter is dilated and starting to crown accompanied by defecatory labor pains.

The Texas Broiler must be released and left for others to observe and admire.

Tommy dropped a Texas broiler in his grandma’s newly renovated bathroom so everyone that went to see the remodel also saw a true work of human art.

I’m working up a Texas broiler. It’s been 4 days since I shit. I’m planning on dropping this one on my neighbor’s driveway.