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Getting her horned up to a sloppy wet state for an absolute railing and gut rearrangement only to disappoint her, and yourself for that matter, by failing to achieve an erection and deliver. Usually results in self loathing while watching her flick the bean.
A bottle of Jack was the perfect recipe last night for a rail fail.
I was so horny and ready to just get railed but my uncle drank too much and was like flopping gummy and a real rail fail.
I had to flick my bean to a toe curling orgasm after daddy did a rail fail.
Cheesy smegma under the male penile foreskin.
I was gagging on his ring of skin butter.
I havenât washed my cock for weeks. Needless to say, I have quite a bit of skin butter. Care for a dollop?
Extremely hairy balls. Like Chewbacca dangling upside down.
Cooped upon my jockstrap, my bear nuts were quite moist.
I was going to lick his balls but they were bear nuts and I didnât want to gag on a loose hair.
Those droplets of remnant semen or urine that cast one or more little wet spots on a males boxers.
I banged the old lady this morning and had a little vein drainage this morning.
The vein drainage was bad cause I didnât shake too good after taking a piss and I was on a hurry.
Take Jimmy to the Woodshed
A polite reference to one beating off oneâs cock n balls with a feverish, almost abusive, spanking action.
Iâm gonna take jimmy to the woodshed tonight when I get home.
I took jimmy to the woodshed several times last night. My nuts are drained.
Performing oral sex on an unwashed penis thatâs amassed a little ripe, tangy dick cheese around the tip.
I was choking on his blue bobber. It really smelled like a fine blue vein cheese.
I tried to feed her my blue bobber but she made me shower.
Masturbating with a tube of fresh, ground pork sausage. Provides that incredible skin to skin feel.
Performed first by cutting an end off the sausage tube exposing the moist pink meat. Then, carefully hollowing out a small canal in the middle of the tube and setting this spare meat aside. After that, slide the tube down over the erect, turgid penis and work that throbbing knob by maneuvering the meat tube up and down the shaft vigorously until climax.
As with all raw meats, please practice appropriate food safety.
The sausage, while likely to look like a ragged whoreâs pussy when done, may be saved and served for a extra hearty breakfast if desired.
My pubes were filled with raw sausage after I did the Jimmy Dean fleshlight last night but it was so lifelike Iâm going to do it again tonight. The Kroger had it on sale BOGO.