Hormel Hammer

Wrapping a piece of wet lunch meat, typical boiled ham, around your penis and masturbating vigorously. Provides a simulated bare back, skin to skin feeling.

My mom went shopping today. Raided the meat drawer in the fridge and busted one out with a hormel hammer.

Ceiling Painter

A male, usually a teen or twenty something, who is such a virile, semen machine, that he’s able to to bust a copious nut several feet into the air.

My Grindr hook up was a ceiling painter. Glad my face was not in the line of fire. I may have lost an eye.

I prefer a ceiling painter as opposed to a dribbler. How’s your prostate by the way?

Tip-to-Taint

Tip To Taint

The measure of complete blow job success by way of complete inhalation of the entire throbbing male member.

I wasn’t quite sure she could handle it but I was pleasantly surprised when she took me tip to taint last night.

She was teasing my banjo string for a bit and the next thing I know she was going tip to taint like a fat kid eating candy.

Tip-to-taint

6👍 1👎

Gym Cheddar

That sweaty, cheesy amalgam that builds in the make groin crease after long, hot workouts.

I scratched my sack between sets and the ripe pungent stank of gym cheddar was all over my fingers.

I have to shower. The gym cheddar is real.

Frost Jaw

Oral sex with an ice cube in the mouth.

She gives the best frost jaw plus she uses that really good ice.

Greek Flame Out

An absolutely brutal railing of girl’s or guy’s asshole that results in a complete anal prolapse.

Usually treated immediately with a wet paper towel, ice cubes and an expedient trip to the hospital.

Hey did your tinder date wanna hook up again? Haha uhhhh no braaahhhh. I gave her a Greek flame out. As far as I know she’s still unable to shit on her own.

My Grindr hook up was an absolute horse cock. I bottomed and paid the price. He gave me the Greek flame out. There was no stuffing it back in at home. Spent the night at the ER.

4👍 1👎

Tug Skin

Male or Female Masturbation.

Let’s go braaaaahhhh. Gonna be late. Hold up yo. Gotta tug skin.

My mom walked in on me just as I was lubing up to tug skin.

My roommate and I were so drunk and horny we flicked the clits and start to tug skins.