Undercarriage Makeover

To wash, clean, tidy and if necessary, shave and trim, one’s genitals, taint or asshole. All three if circumstances warrant.

The prostitute dashed into the Wawa bathroom to do an undercarriage makeover after her last John filled her like a Boston cream donut.

The humidity was so swamp ass inducing that I had to freshen with an undercarriage makeover.

I gave myself and entire undercarriage makeover before my Grindr hook up arrived.

I looked like Chewbacca’s face down there so I cleaned up with an undercarriage makeover.

Wet Bull

When an obese, butch lesbian sits on your face, in smothering fashion, until she flicks her bean to a tsunami style squirt.

Gloria got me on the floor last night and did a wet bull. I didn’t know if i was going to suffocate or drown.

Sniffin’ Cheese

That ripe, pungent, cheesy smell one acquires on their fingers after scratching bodily orifices, crack and crevices. Or for males, the scrotal region.

This delightful delicacy is typically the result of sweat, fluids, secretions, glandular discharges, smegma, sebum and in some cases, just general bodily filth.

Man I gave that homeless dude a hand job in the alley and now my hand smells like sniffin’ cheese.

I hadn’t showered for a week and the sniffin’ cheese around my balls was as ripe as a good Stilton.

Duke n’ Puke

When one is so violently ill that all things unholy are blasting from every orifice. Shitting and puking at the same time.

What is that horrific retching and splashing sound coming from the bathroom? Oh that’s Roger. He partied just a little to much last night. He’s doing the duke n’ puke today.

Wuhan Rim Job

The anal swab covid test administered by the Chinese government on visiting foreigners. Soon to be enjoyed by travelers worldwide.

How was your trip to China? It was great. I had the wuhan rim job as soon as we landed. How was it? Let’s just say I got tested three times.

Cutting Nails

Painful stinging shits that are akin to the pain of trying to push a large nail out the ass.

Man I was cutting nails in there and now my asshole is stinging.

I was cutting nails and to hold the grab bars to get it worked out.

Meat Glaze

A viscous of sexual fluids that glaze the penis during coitus. There are three forms of this delightful amalgam.

Oral meat glaze. The frothy concoction of saliva and eventually semen slathering a well sucked knob. Usually moistens the balls as well.

Vaginal meat glaze. The mixture of vaginal secretions, maybe squirt, and a hot load
of jizz vigorously churned inside her love pocket and coating the schlong. When wiped off, it often resembles a snail trail.

Rectal meat glaze. A brownish, lathered cream of ass juice, remnants, lube and semen. Creates a shaft sheen from tip to base. Is often ripe and pungent and may induce gagging during the natural wafting that occurs during cheek clapping.

That dirty slut left me with a thick meat glaze. So I wiped it off on her pillow case.