University of Michigan

A school that only enrolls students who are asian, black, or ugly. More often than not, one will see male students walking around in a lacrosse jersey with a backwards hat on. It is also common to see every male student try and rock the long sideburns. As for the females, it is not uncommon to see them on football game day wearing some ridiculous outfit, with their knee-high socks, sporting a bright "maize" shirt and a backwards hat. This bright outerwear is to distract you from their ugly faces. The irony of this situation is that these people will claim that they are better than you. They believe that, because they won a lot of football games back in the 60's, 70's and 80's, that their skill carries over to the next era. They also believe that they receive a better education because they get more homework than other schools. However, the reality is that their football team sucks, their girls are ugly, and you're still getting nowhere in life with a degree in Engineering.

(In East Lansing)

"Hey Johnny, who's that slapdick with the sideburns and the yellow hat on backwards, trying to wheel on those freshman girls?"

"Oh, that kid? Don't worry about him. He goes to the University of Michigan and he won't be getting with any girls tonight. He couldn't score in a whorehouse with a handful of twenties."

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