Weasel in my meatsafe

A Weasel in My Meatsafe is an autobiographical book by One Man and His Dog presenter Phil Drabble.

A weasel in my meatsafe is a euphemism for the act of housing (temporarily) a long, thin, hairy creature within a safe, meaty environment.

Michelle - "You're looking pretty pleased with yourself this morning. What's the deal?"

Zoe - "Well, I had a weasel in my meatsafe last night, so life is good!"

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Climping

The act of trimming one's labia with pinking shears for aesthetic and/or sensory purposes.

Tammy knew she was gonna be sore after climping, but this was ridiculous! It felt like she'd done the splits on a box of dynamite!!!

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Pork cheese

1. Unsavory substance made from left-over roast pork.

2. Unsavory substance found under an unwashed prepuce.

1. Mrs Beeton's pork cheese did not taste good!!!

2. Mrs Beeton's pork cheese did not taste good!!!

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Duffle

Verb used to describe the action of fornicating through the frayed hole in a urine-soaked hessian sack.

Sophie loved the feel of the sack-cloth rasping against her naked flesh while Adam duffled her.

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Horn-rimmed

The act of having rubbed your erect penis against your partner's arse-hole as a prelude to anal sex, or as a means of stimulation in it's own right

"So did that Jess chick let you put it anywhere?!"
"No. She reckons anal on a first date is slutty, so I just horn-rimmed her instead."

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Wizard

A phenomena caused by friction; occuring when an eldery gentleman's grey 'beard' rubs against the inside of his polyester trousers, resulting in an electric shock being administered to anyone touching his 'wand'.

Gladys' eyes shot open in shock as she felt the sparks from Albert's semi-flaccid cock shoot across her toothless gums.
"Wizard!" she thought.

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Porn goggles

The anomaly of finding an ugly person attractive as soon as their genitals are exposed. Usually the result of extreme randiness, but not always.

Sofie - "Eeew, did you seriously go home with Larissa last night??!!"
Steve - "I know, I know! I wasn't gonna actually DO anything, but then she took her knickers off and the porn goggles appeared..."

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