Alligator Fuckhouse

latin: Conglomero crocodylus

A sexual act with an exciting end for either participant. At the point of mutual climax, one partner bites down on the corner of the other's neck, near the shoulder, and initiates a "death roll"--similar to the efficient hunting technique of an alligator or crocodile, in which the reptile breaks its victim's bones and flesh through vigorous, sensual rotations.

Nethin' prepares me for the great thrill of an Alligator Fuckhouse after an hour of love-making. Daisy is a big girl, 6'1" and heavy as a truck, so when she starts rolling me, I know that our climax is going to be anything but dull. The bleeding usually stops within an hour, and the occasional broken rib is just a small price to pay.

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Cherry Cream Pie

latin: strages

An iron-infused twist on the classic "cream pie," the Cherry Cream Pie is a tantalizing finish for any couple having sex during the woman's menstrual cycle . After ejaculating inside his partner, the man watches as the woman expels the seed along with her period blood, creating a visually stunning mix of reds, pinks and white.

From: "Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex"

Mary made a Cherry Cream Pie on the bathroom floor. Mmmm, pie.

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Dirty Gas Pump

latin: immunda ientaculum

Adding a little southern twist to the traditional British tea bag, the woman brings the man's testicles into her mouth while facing his backside. As she performs a handjob while "tea-bagging" him, the man should flatulate as much as possible. With her face buried deep in his behind, the man's wind will provide an odorous addition for the woman.

From: "Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex"

I think the key to surviving a Dirty Gas Pump is breath control. Eventually you learn when to breathe through the nose, alternating with removing the balls, for deep breaths through the mouth. It's not hard, but until you get the hang of it, it's not pleasant.

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Reverse Blumpkin

latin: Analingus miatus
A member of the Blumpkin family, the Reverse Blumpkin occurs when a woman performs analingus on her partner while he urinates, thus simultaneously stimulating both anus and urethra in a two-headed monster of erogenous pleasure. This fetish works especially well for those unable to achieve the erection-while-pooping necessary for the classic Blumpkin.
from the book: Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex

For those of us who are sexually disabled, the Reverse Blumpkin is a godsend. Though I can't achieve an erection, I can piss and get my butthole eaten out like there's no tomorrow.

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Golden Shower

latin: Mictus pluvia
The simplest of fetishes, the Golden Shower involves one partner simply spraying a lover or friend with the warm drops of one's micturition.

Urine has never gotten the attention it deserves in the sexual world. Sure, it's great for expelling waste, but did you know that it's also great for spraying bathing girls in a golden shower?

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eiffel tower

latin: Concelebratio veneriis
In this group sex act, one man penetrates, or "doggies," a woman from behind while another gets a blowjob in front. During their exertions, the man--jubilant over their good fortune--reach up and high-five each other, thus forming an Eiffel Tower-like shape with their outstretched arms.
from the book: Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex

I use Eiffel Tower on all my teams to build teamwork and camaraderie. If a couple of my players start fighting, I'll grab the waterboy and tell him to bend over and start sucking until my players learn to work together as a team. When that high-five happens, I know it's all coming together.

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the stranger

latin: peregrinus
Almost all men and women masturbate either sitting or lying down, making this solo move a natural way to spice up a private half hour. Sit or lie on top of the hand you normally masturbate with, dramatically reducing the blood flow in your arm. For men, once you've lost feeling in that hand, dab on some lubricant and begin to masturbate. Women can start with fingers or a toy--the choice is yours. With no no sensation in your hand (but feeling everything down south), you can imagine getting frisky with a mysterious partner--who just happens to know exactly how you like it!
from the book: Dirty Sanchez's Guide to Buck Nasty Sex

I haven't had a partner for some time. And I never had the money or desire to invest in sex toys or call girls. The stranger really is the next best thing to getting it for real.

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