Hard Dick

HARD DICK- noun
Middle aged to older man, usually divorced multiple times, frequents bars that cater to a much younger, hipper crowd. Will be found leaning against the prime drink ordering spot at the bar. This is to insinuate himself into conversations between younger, clearly out of his league, women, with what he thinks is witty banter. This Hard Dick will be shot down repeatedly, even by very intoxicated women.

Typical attire will include: Member’s Only jacket, polo shirt, poly blend slacks, and boat shoes.
Accoutrements: Wall Street Journal, Blackberry, Corvette key fob with a Honda car key, watch that appears to be a Rolex but will either be a knock off or the least expensive model made.

Irritates all bartenders with his overly familiar comments, and does not tip well. Male equivalent to the Female “Bar Fly.” Must be swept out with the trash.

If you are approached by the Hard Dick, a stern “NO!” accompanied by a sharp snap of the fingers will stun him long enough to make an escape. Do not accept his offer of a cocktail, as this only encourages further conversation and bad behavior.

“I don’t care how thirsty you are Trix! If you take that beer, that Hard Dick will follow us around all night. He’s a total cock block.”

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Horse

Verb-
To boldly take something that isn't yours or you are not welcome to have.

"He won't notice the car is gone, just horse it."

“My ass clown roommate horsed all the beers and didn’t replace them.”

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