The Dirty Parsnip

When your feeling that special feeling and need the ancient release but the only sex aides available are the ingredients for your Sunday roast. So you post a parsnip up your brown eye (vegetable oil optional) and shag the life out of your Tesco uncooked chicken. Whilst your knob is wrapped in bacon like an extra salty pig in blanket.

Oh Doreen you wouldn’t believe that I caught Alan doing the dirty parsnip on Saturday after I went to bed.

I don’t know why you put up with it Glenda?

Well I quite like the extra salty chicken stock to make my Sunday roast gravy with……