Poop Bassinet

A coping skill for those who are terrified by the sound of their poop falling into the toilet and making a slashing sound.

The Poop Bassinet is made by floating several layers of toilet paper on top of the toilet water. This creates a soft landing spot for the falling poop to be gently and most importantly, silently welcomed to the toilet water.

It’s the weirdest thing but she just can’t take a shit unless she makes a poop bassinet. She really needs professional help with her phobia.

South African Butt Muffler

When you need to use the bathroom in silence, you fold three squares of toilet paper in half and hold it over you ass as you sit or stand to pee. If gas escapes, no one will hear.

She’s a bit to proper, she makes a South African butt muffler when she pees and I’ve never even heard her fart.