crumpit

(ENGLISH VERSION). From the swinging 60s era, also from 'Carry on' films a really beautiful girl usually with large breasts who puts out.

'Cor blimey, Judy is a really tasty bit of crumpit'. 'Can't wait to get home to get my tea and crumpit'.
'she's a nice piece of crumpit'. The sort of thing Austin Powers would say, 'I wouldn't mind getting my hands on your crumpit (girlfriend) mate!' Or 'Oi, piss off, find your own crumpit'.

60👍 15👎

Mongolian Mudslide

The act of, getting on google and yelp to find the most poorly rated Mongolian restaurant in the area.
Once you’ve ordered the most questionable items in which food poisoning is an almost guarantee, and consumed them, the next part is a bit of a waiting game.

Once you or your partner feel the eruption coming, it is critical you time this perfectly, you may begin.

To begin whichever partner is about to shit goes first.

The male shitter, must proceed to face/titty fuck the partner until the moment of arrival, when he pops the cork he must provide a good launch angle so that he can cover his partner as best as he can.
The female shitter, is limited in the position she can use. Rear cowgirl is ideal, another could be side straddle. Ideally any position were your point of aim in the center of your partners body. Now when you’re ready, spread your cheeks for that man and let him watch as you blow chunks all over him. The fun isn’t over hop back on and keep riding!!! Or if you’re really brave let him put it in your ass and fill you back up with dessert😏

This complex and intricate process may fail a time or two before it’s executed with precision. In order to better prepare, ensure the parties have chosen food items that will most definitely make them have the most wrenching diarrhea.

Added tip, if you’ve got the iron gut use xlax. Added added tip, get plastic sheets.

“Hey Brian, you wanna hit up the gas station for some burritos?”
“Thanks Steve, no I’ve got to go to Mongolian grill to prepare for the wife and I’s Mongolian Mudslide later tonight.”