leg iron

Your significant other, usually referred to when married or have been together for a while.

How’s the old leg iron?
Aye she’s fettling well, bloody moaning cow

amidshits

To define when you can’t do something right now as you are currently on the throne attempting to passively drop a Lincoln Log (yeah good luck doing anything with one of those behemoths that doesn’t involve a trip to the ER shortly after)

Yo Egg, Fury Road is showing again at the cinema, fancy a gander?

Nah mate, I’m currently amidshits with a Lincoln Log the likes of which even God has never seen. I’ll catch you on the other side Muad’dib, if I make it out alive.

Sorry to hear that Egg, I’ll send the boys round later with the mining equipment to get it shifted for you.

Cheers Paul it’s just a small specimen, 125 metres or so, there have been sightings of ones up to 450 metres in the deep bowls but that’s far from where we are

These Dune references are a bit obscure, reckon UD will get them?

Not a fucking hope, more chance of persuading Rachel from Friends to see how many clothes pegs she can attach to those monkeys thumbs of hers

Yarp!

imbribery

The act of getting laid through the use of alcohol.

- Are you off out tonight?
- Aye, I’ll be sniffing out some flange!
- Gonna use some imbribery?
- For sure!

Guffrontery

The reaction to a particularly loud or disgusting fart or shart, especially on a packed tube train when female passengers have to use coat lapels as a makeshift gas mask. Look as proud as a man cradling his first born son.

His neighbours guffrontery at his long loud shart was a sight to behold, nothing less than biblical.

cockgibbon

A person who has gone beyond mere fuckwittery - may speak in only monkey noises.

That Elon Musk, what a cockgibbon! Him and all his cronies - the biggest flange of cockgibbons I ever did see! The sooner they all fuck off to Mars, the better - that’ll be the best ever gift to all Humanity.

lane shaming

The act of, in your mind, shaming the vehicle in lane 3 of a 4-lane motorway (when there’s no other traffic) by overtaking them and immediately with no indication pulling in to lane 1. Whilst passing, give them the Look of Shame, the one that says “You can’t drive, you cockgibbon, and you’re probably in lane 3 because you have a third puffy nipple.”

- How was your drive to London?
- There was a right cockgibbon in a turquoise van, sat in lane 3, tweaking sommat.
- Did you give ‘em a decent Lane Shaming?
- Fam, I Lane Shamed ‘em to the n-th level of Hell… Aldershot.