Random
Source Code

Davy Jones' Locker

An elevator on a cruise ship that someone farted in, right before exiting.

I got in the elevator just as this old lady was getting out. The doors shut before I realized she had sent me to Davy Jones' Locker.

This guy got on the elevator with the worst BO, so I sent him to Davy Jones' Locker.

by Double Happiness June 28, 2012

23👍 5👎


Windfartium Leviosa

This is a levitation trick for male magicians that will impress your friends and relatives at parties. It can be performed day or night, indoors or outdoors. The only necessary equipment is your anus and your testicles.

When you feel the urge to fart, gather a crowd and strip completely naked - or at least from the waist down.

Sit down on the floor, place your hands behind your knees, and gently roll backward onto your back, hugging your knees into your chest, taking care to allow your scrotum to hang down naturally over your taint and anus. Try to relax - you want your anus completely covered by your ball bag.

Now, with everyone watching, yell out “WINDFARTIUM LEVIOSA” and release your fart. With practice, you will be able to magically cause your testes to levitate for up to three seconds.

So I did my last trick at that kid’s birthday party, and his parents shorted me ten bucks. I was so pissed. I had made like a hundred balloon animals and the baby goat was a pain in the ass all morning. So I told the kids wait - Poppy the Clown has one more special trick. And I did Windfartium Leviosa right in front of his Republican grandparents.

by Double Happiness September 1, 2022


coronapenis

A type of erectile dysfunction caused by over-consumption of alcoholic beverages.

Cabo was rad, bro. I was totally going to smash the winner of the wet t-shirt contest but I caught a bad case of Coronapenis.

by Double Happiness March 9, 2020