I-see-a-cock-al-itus

Is an obsessive and unhealthy addiction to cock, may cause mild to severe retardation and confusion. individuals may accuse friends and/or family of sending them dick pics or pictures with hidden cocks in it, when in actuality there will be no cock in said photo. A small penis usually accompanies this.

Jason: I’m not opening this video there’s gonna be a dick…
(Ding dong)
Delivery man: “Pizza delivery for Jason!
Jason: “Go away i know you just want to show me your dick!
Bob: “you need to relax brother, it’s the pizza I ordered….why won’t you look at me right now?
Jason: “nice try but i know your dicks out”

Bob: “Jason I think you got a case of the

“I-see-a-cock-al-itus”

Not right fast but fast enough

Canadian slang for: pretty quickly, but not overly fast. Also used a for implying just enough speed or time taken. Mostly used in Eastern Canada but widely used throughout Canada.

Tim: wow Bobby finished that poutine not right fast but fast enough!
Cornelius: ain’t that that the truth eh?!

Mad muffin disease

An extreme unhealthy addiction to muffins. May cause Hulk like anger/strength if said muffin cannot be found. Known symptoms are fighting/accusing friends of stealing said muffin even though he probably ate it himself. Small penis's usually accompany this problem. Taunting someone with this condition may my activate retard strength and intelligence and a tornado like spinning action with his fists out which basically means he's indestructible.

Dave: where my muffin!!!!!
Fruche: dude relax we'll find it

Dave: Faaaaaaaaaa
Fruch: holy shit he's doing that retarded tornado thing again must be the mad muffin disease

Simpsonitis

Originating in the Yonge and Eglinton area of Toronto Canada. It Is the act of getting very high on Percocet and drunk off Smirnoff Ice or Coors Light. It entails calling everyone around you a “cunt” while feverishly scratching there neck, face, and penis due to the Percocet high. A small penis accompanies this disorder along with mild confusion and retardation. Affected hosts also try and use speech to text on there IPhones but can not properly be understood due to having a partial cock in there mouth. (Sometimes just the tip)

GROUP TEXT CONVERSATION:

Jason: I’m gonna now the wall with beard candy ape ape!
Bosco: wtf?!? Is this Yorkie?

Carlos: jason take the whole cock out of your mouth bro

Jason: cunt I’m going to climb a tree with my pony and cjdnfkxcn

Jj: even the tip pops!... even the tip....

Matt: I’m so high right now...

Bosco: cunts got a case of the Simpsonitis!

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Dave Collaton

The town fag, typically recieves anally every Tuesday and Thursday, then celebrates with cock shaped muffins

Randy: Where's Dave Collaton?
Steve: probably getting fucked hard in the ass.... Or eating a muffin

serbian fuck palace

A gay male bathhouse/fight club. Essentially the losers of each match must anally recieve from the winners in their near unconious state. All fights are while both competitors are extremely erect and in the shower with the heat turned up to max. Their are prizes given and free t-shirts. Usually owned by Serbian or Croations named Srdan.

Carlos: Dave what happened to your face?
Dave: took a slip in the old Serbian fuck palace last night!

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Muffin lovin

Is an obsessive and unhealthy addiction to muffins, may cause mild to severe retardation and confusion. individuals may attack friends and/or family in order to take possession of said muffin then penetrate it

Dave: where the f@ck is my muffin?!
Danny: dude calm down it looked delicious so I ate it im sorry
Dave: WTF!!!!
Danny: calm down dude sounds like you've got a case of the Muffin lovin