Adorable Aggression

1. An overwhelming urge to completely destroy or mangle something that is so cute, that it’s pathetic. This feeling is usually triggered by baby animals or objects that tend to be “Smoll”.

The thoughts going through your head may scare you as you pick up an absolutely adorable “smoll” puppy and have the urge to squeeze it until it splatters in your hands or at least hard enough for its eyeballs to pop out.

Another common reaction for those with Adorable Aggression might not want to kill the puppy, instead suddenly feel the need to throw up on it without warning.

“OMG bro! Did you see Linda’s Miniature Lahsa Apso Labradoodle Puppies?! I was holding one It was so goddamn cute that my Adorable Aggression kicked in!… I had to put it down before I puked on it and punted it across the yard!”

Tweaker Tendencies

A person who routinely displays similar habits as a tweaker but has no reputation of being a crackhead. This is only because this person hasn’t been caught yet. People with Tweaker Tendencies have an opposite schedule than society. They may have piles of scrap metal on the front lawn, they do all their chores around midnight. There’s usually some yelling and arguing with a spouse and a dog barking to round out the 3rd shift madness. In extreme cases, they’ll take their car apart but ride a bike everywhere. They blame everyone but themselves for the things they misplaced.

“The new neighbor keeps mean mugging me and blaming me for stealing his tools one-by-one. The Tweaker Tendencies are off the hook”