tubular

Late 70s and 80s slang, adj. As groovy and as it gets. Too cool to be just a passing fad, like saying tubular turned out to be.

Derived from a way cool 1973 album, titled Tubular Bells, by Mike Oldfield.

Vals picked up the word and that was the death of saying tubular. If it weren't for so many Vals saying, like tubular that other people associated it with Valspeak, people wouldn't have become afraid to continue saying tubular when Valspeak went out of style.

Even now, Peeps are still grooving to Tubular Bells, and they figured out by the 80s that it wasn't just a passing fad, so anything groovy enough to outlast a fad became tubular. It's too bad saying tubular wasn't tubular.

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Most ironic UrbanDictionary definition

Talk about an ironic daffynition...

I didn't even know about the Indonesia quake when I wrote earthquake test. "Most ironic UrbanDictionary definition."

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corporate mentality

Large-scale practice of committee mentality within a corporate entity, (see corporate personhood).

To my phone company: You reassigned this phone number to me 6 months after you took it away from the deadbeat who didn't pay his phone bill. Why can't you understand that it's no longer his phone number? Just because you can't find him, is no cause to harass me!

Another person to his phone company: Of course I received your message that the replacement for my broken phone is ready to pick up - just as soon as I got the replacement phone and checked for messages.

Me to the Yellow Pages publisher: Of course I wanted to be listed in the yellow pages under my business name. You offered me a listing in the Yellow Pages because I'm listed as a business in the white pages didn't you? Do you see anyone else listed in the Yellow Pages by their personal name?

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Real True Christians

Monotheistic followers of Jesus who:

1. Search for the truth instead searching for a belief that makes them feel good about themselves.

2. Serve God instead of themselves or their own desires.

3. Completely accept the Bible as the complete, authoritative source of information about God.

4. Take it upon themselves to be Christian rather than expect clerics to serve as proxy Christians for them.

5. Obey God's word because they love and respect God enough to obey Him, instead of working even harder to come up with excuses not to obey God.

6. Do not introduce man-made philosophies or pagan customs into their worship and pretend that they have something to do with Jesus.

7. Obey God rather than men when the two are in conflict.

8. Do not follow self-appointed prophets or messiahs.

I prefer honest pagans and Real True Christians to those who pretend that the fertility symbols of Easter, such as eggs, rabbits, and maidens dressed in white have something to do with Jesus.

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sir

What you should respond to when people call you by it, so they don't call you Hey You next.

You can't go in there, sir.

Sir!

Hey You!!

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cell phone

Cellular communication; how an amoeba communicates. You know; amoebae, like really, really small people.

Hey, lookit the cell phone under this microscope!

Of course it is! Can't you see that the one amoeba's phoning another one?

Of course his phone is cellular. What other kind would an amoeba have?

(If you're saying this out loud, it would be good to duck now and then, in case someone was going to hit you.)

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holy shit

An expression by which some people identify their deity.

"I saw you come out of a church Sunday."

"Holy shit!"

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