Kentucky Fried Asshole

The BURNING sensation you will feel in your asshole approximately 7 hours after eating a KFC Zinger Meal, as you sit on the commode holding your ankles and screaming at passers by to "get Colonel Sanders".

Though a Zinger Meal doesn't taste particularly spicy going in, on it's way back out the other end it feels as though an army of hornets are raking hot coals around your ringpiece with a combine harvester.

It's like there's a party in your ass, and everyone's calling the Fire Brigade.

Dave: Why do you walk like that?
Eddy: I have Kentucky Fried Asshole

157👍 7👎

Doritos

Cardboard triangles with a heavy MSG coating.

Originally invented at Disney Land, all the sick, saw dust, brick dust, and other detritus was swept off the floor and dried into big crispy sheets. Then, triangle shapes were cut from these sheets and coated with orange dye and enough MSG to give a dead man brain damage.

There is no way to eat Doritos without the filth coming off all over your hands and mixing with your sweat to form a potently smelly and toxic industrial waste product that serves to emphasize the poor hygiene and self control of the consumer.

Every bag of Doritos takes a year off my life, but I can't stop eating them due to the fact they are 50% MSG.

5👍 14👎

wikipedian

Someone who spends a disturbingly long amount of time editing the site www.wikipedia.com, usually to protect pages they are interested in from vandalism and to keep them up to date.

This is usually done at the expense of other social activates like asking girls out, or talking to friends. And the seasoned wikipedian can often be seen fapping furiously after writing an article he considers to be particularly accurate.

Jenny: What do you do in your spare time?
Kearney: I'm a wikipedian, I recently corrected some glaring inaccuracies on the Captain Picard page!
Jenny: …okaaay *turns around*

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