Random
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Random
A slow driver in front of you who manages to crawl through a yellow light right when it's about to turn red (and even worse, at a railroad crossing), leaving you and the enraged drivers behind you in a huge traffic jam.
I would've made it back home sooner if it wasn't for that slow bastard who kept light-trapping me at nearly every other block.
A steak or hamburger that is cooked extremely rare and bloody, it borders on being raw. Any rarer and the cow would literally have to be slaughtered at the dinner table.
We ordered Filet mignon that was so bloody rare, I swear the steaks were still mooing when they got to our plates.
33π 3π
Leaving text messages hoping something bad happens to someone, like a hex or a curse.
Mike's ex girl has been hexting him for weeks hoping he'll get some sort of incurable tumor. I'm guessing she hasn't gotten over finding him in bed with her mother.
1053π 234π
A black market doctor; usually someone who counts showing up for one class of med school as experience, who will perform crude medical procedures for cash. It usually is someone who patches up gangsters who have been shot, does black market organ donations or back-alley abortions. His office can be usually be found in an alley or conveniently from the trunk of his car.
"I couldn't afford my next mortgage payment; and needed the cash to avoid foreclosure, so I decided to sell my left kidney and spleen. I found a street surgeon who is more than willing to remove and sell them for a good price."
13π 2π
The sole sperm donor to a woman wishing to get pregnant many times. The babies are conceived through artificial insemination, sometimes nicknamed the turkey baster method.
The mother of the newborn octuplets claims that her babies and the six kids she already has (14 children in all) were all conceived by the master baster, and not different men.
15π 8π
When someone lays a very dense and smelly fart that lingers around the farter like some sort force field. No one dares to enter it.
I couldn't go into the bedroom because my gassy brother kept farting, leaving an impenetrable fart field that lasted for hours. No more Taco Bell for him...ever.
A sudden flash of genius, when one is trying to solve a complicated problem or frustrating issue. Inspired by the show House M.D. Typically near the end of the episode; Dr. House, in deep thought or from seeing a clue around him, finally finds the right diagnosis.
After accidentally spilling a bottle of black ink on my carpet, I tried to get it off with an old sponge before it dried. While panicking to clean it, I had a House moment. I ran to my bathroom, grabbed a bottle of shampoo, poured it on the spill, and scrubbed it spotless.
61π 8π