extravulvicular activity

Cheating on your girlfriend.

Guy1: Dude, you didn't shag what's-her-tits last night, did you? If your girlfriend finds out, you're dead meat.

Guy2: What can I say? We were just having a few drinks, one thing led to another, and...yes, I guess I did engage in extravulvicular activity I'm probably going to regret.

Guy1: Was it worth it?

Guy2: Oh, hell yeah.

Meat Whiz

Processed meat in an easy-to-open container. The meat equivalent to cheese whiz.

I'm in the mood for a toasted cheeze and spam samich. Mmmm meat whiz!

8👍 97👎

Terminal Vulvocity

The tangential speed at which the female genitalia reaches as it spins around a stripper pole, just before she falls off.

I saw a performance last night at the club that was unbelievable! I saw not 1, but two dancers achieve terminal vulvocity, and seriously fall on their sweet little asses.

6👍 2👎

Carpet Time

The duration of your feet resting comfortably on the floor mat while on cruise control.

Dude, I had 20 continuous minutes of carpet time on I-85 on my morning commute. How lucky was that?

e-Balls

The scenario where a no-name administrative person sends threatening emails based on a lame attempt to pacify the demanding boss.

I got another email from that beyotch in payroll. She grew a pair of e-Balls in this last email.
I'll turn in my expense report when I'm damn good and ready.

Blow Job Hairdo

When a woman has her hair wrapped up in a pony tail, flipped up on top.

Boyfriend: “I always like your hair the way you have it all wrapped up on top and in the back.”
Girlfriend: “I'll bet you do! That's my blow job hairdo”

13👍 3👎

Vulvatum

The girlfriend's abstinence threat to the boyfriend.

Dude, my girlfriend just gave me a vulvatum!...
She told me that if I went to this strip club just one more time, she'd cut me off!

After a few more lap dances, I'll tell you how I skilfully used “the fuck word” in my response to her.