Vagenie

Noun: (pronounced: vuh-jee-nee) - The mystical spirit demon that resides deep inside a woman's vagina that will come out and grant you three magical wishes if you are lucky enough to awaken it from its slumber.

Difficulty: 10/10 (Nearly impossible!)

NOTE: Only four men throughout history have been able to awaken the Vagenie:

1 - Richard the Lionhart - Who had the forethought to lead the Crusades and set us up for the last good Indiana Jones movie.

2 - Saladin - The Sultan of Egypt and Syria who led the Muslims against the Crusaders and eventually recaptured Palestine from the Kingdom of Jerusalem after his victory in the Battle of Hattin...OR DID HE...?

3 - Genghis Khan - Emperor of the Mongol Empire, the largest contiguous empire in history, and cameo superstar of Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

4 - Lou Diamond Phillips - Star of La Bamba and Young Guns. Consequently while lucky enough to wake the Vagenie, its overwhelming omnipresent force rendered Lou mentally challenged, ergo no Young Guns III and a remaining filmography of pretty much crap after the early 90's.

Honorable mention awarded to Billy Zane - keep tryin' big guy!

I was fucking this girl really hard the other night, like really railing balls deep, then all the sudden these strange popping noises and intense, vibrant, blinding lights and mist emanated from her pussy and the motherfucking Vagenie appeared out of nowhere and granted me three magical wishes!

I asked it for a bottle of chloroform, some roofies and a scream mask!

12👍 3👎