Columbus Academy

1. A shit school that expels people due to their parents talking to the news about the school

2. Raises the tuition a few thousand dollars every year and prays people don’t notice

3. Takes all that tuition money and builds a fucking rock climbing wall that nobody asked for it is allowed on, and also to crank the AC during the winter for no reason other than to show Columbus City Schools how cool we are

4. Sage Dining creating some science experiment behind closed doors on how to make chicken out of leftover food scraps, and then proceeding to serve that vile chicken for every single damn meal

5. Consistently shortens times to get between classes, puts them on the other side of fucking campus, and expects you to get there in under five minutes

Student 1: What’s for lunch today?
Student 2: I think it’s pork…
Student 1: Holy shit, after the 15th day of chicken we finally get something edible?

Student 3: Hey mom can I have 80 dollars for school
Parent: Hell no! Why do you need that?
Student 3: So I can buy an overpriced school branded sweatshirt so I won’t come home with pneumonia tomorrow

Teacher: Why were you late?
Student 4: Because packing up, leaving the class, going to your locker, grabbing the stuff for this period, and walking all the way over here takes more than five minutes.
Teacher: That’s no excuse.

Student 4: Easy for you to say you fat bitch, you don’t leave this room until lunch where you load your plate up with mystery meat chicken nuggets and chocolate chip cookies, and then come back here and bitch about people being 15 seconds late

Student 5: What do we have next?
Student 6: Damnit, it’s assembly…
Student 5: Oh great, we get to hear about why all the white kids are racist homophobic sexist pieces of shit again…
Student 6: Hey, don’t forget about the Columbus Academy daily earraping- I mean guess the song challenge

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