jack-it jacket

a sock to pop-off into during beat time to save money on tissue paper in these harsh economic conditions...

I was in the middle of my own private rodeo when I felt the urge to explode coming on so I grabbed my jack-it jacket just in time.

218👍 69👎

dirty dracula

when a guy likes to eat his girl's snatch out during her period...

Did you hear about Jimmy's dirty dracula? That boy is messed up for da pussy.

88👍 4👎

ejacalit

the way Larry David imagines black people say the word "ejaculate" in the tv series Curb Your Enthusiasm

someone sat down in a puddle of my ejacalit after I watched the new Carmen Electra pilates video

185👍 46👎

theory of everything

Theory of Everything (ToE) is the point in quantum theory Level 4 where the entire data set of everything ever known to exist is resolved in a simple equation: Life = Zero or One (depending on the size of your shaft)

I was bummed out when I my wife died, but then I read about Theory of Everything in hustler magazine.

156👍 18👎