Short Arm Syndrome

The term that refers to the condition of a person who is so obese that their arms cannot reach their back side, making it impossible for them to effectively clean themselves after deficating. (A person who is so fat that they cannot wipe their ass.)

That fat guy smells like shit because he has Short Arm Syndrome.

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Elastic Bandstand

The act of concealing one's erection by tucking it under the elastic waistband of their undergarment.

Dude, I popped a serious boner in class right before the bell rang. I had to pull an elastic bandstand before I stood up to leave so no one would see my flagpole