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McDonald's Relationship

Much like the unhealthy chain restaurant, a McDonald's Relationship is a quick and ready seni-romantic relationship between two consenting adults. Like the "food" from the aforementioned cheap food dispensary, this type of relationship is toxic and the psuedo love experienced leaves your system as fast as your body disposes of a Big Mac from your bowels. The emotions experienced are as nutritious as that dang Mcflurry you like to choke down!

Bill: I went out on a date with a chick last night but she turned out to be a dude and hit me in the eye with her dangus!

Seamus: Bill, you have to stop it with this McDonald's relationship problem you have.

Bill: We get married next week...

by Dr.FartScientist October 4, 2020


fart injection threshold

The Fart Injection Threshold (FIT) is the exact pressure necessary for a person's "hiney" which is properly and securely mated with a cloth surface (couch, car seat, pillow, etc.) to break through the somewhat permeable fabric with flatulence. If one cheek of said hiney is higher than the other or your pelvis is tilted, the fart will fail to penetrate the fabric barrier and thus pass through the choad channel and dust the back of your testies.

1. Last week I had to put plastic on my couch because some bad children broke into my house and fumigated my furniture. Good thing scientists have yet to discover how to break the Fart Injection Threshold of 3,000 Mil plastic.

2. Yo, my girlfriend has such a sexy butt, I used to always sniff her car seat. That was until her pops told me that he frequently breaks the Fart Injection Threshold of her car seat when he borrows her car to get Indian food!

by Dr.FartScientist May 4, 2017

11๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


utili-tits

Large female tits on women who work hard laborious jobs. What are they there for? No one knows. Utili-tits serve no purpose as they get in the way and hinder the job performance of the bearer of said tits and are often dirty from all that work.

Hey Tony, check out that broad's utili-tits! Yeah Bob, her tits may be wicked dirty but she sure can carry a ton of rocks from that quarry!

by Dr.FartScientist May 9, 2017

10๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


raw fart

A fart which is released from someone's bare, unclothed ass. As opposed to a filtered fart which passes through underwear and/or outer clothing, a raw fart is smellier and will expell fecal matter and bacteria onto any nearby surface.

Person 1: Hey, why is Todd so sick?

Person 2: I released a raw fart into his silverware drawer.

Person 1: Wow, that will be the gift that keeps on giving until he's done using all those forks, spoons, and knives!

by Dr.FartScientist June 7, 2017

11๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


meahicle

Literally a food truck, aka roach coach.

I want to take this stink bitch out on a date; however my only ride is this cajun food meahicle! If I bring my tablet and hulu, it'll be dinner and a fuckin movie!

by Dr.FartScientist June 8, 2017

12๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Turnberry Shuffle

When you get to a red light that takes forever to change green forcing you to make a right turn then a u-turn to avoid it. The maneuver was created by a balding, middle-aged man frustrated with living in the Ternberry gated community in an unknown city and state. It has been said that nobody gave a shit about Ternberry, not even the assholes who programmed the traffic light to exit the community and make a left turn.

The maneuver is performed in the following method:

1. Stop at light and wait 5 minutes.
2. Realize you're an idiot for waiting.
3. Turn right out of frustration.
4. Frantically cut across all lanes of travel to the left turn lane.
5. Shuffle the steering wheel all the way to the left.
6. Bust that u-turn like a boss, cutting off some old dumb bitch.
7. Continue about your business.

A successful Turnberry Shuffle is achieved if the asshole stop light doesn't turn red on you after your u-turn defeating your efforts as if the traffic light knew and decided to punish you.

For fucks' sake Sarah, perform the Turnberry Shuffle at this light, it will take for fucking ever for it to change for us!

by Dr.FartScientist December 12, 2018

3๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


sweat wipes

When you are sitting in a hot ass porto-potty that is baking in the scorching hot sun and the sweat off your back is running down your ass crack, your ass full of sweat turns your toilet paper wad into a wet wipe when you go to wipe your ass.

Q: Arthur, is your bunghole feeling fresh after that deuce you just dropped?

A: Why yes, Theresa, yes indeed. It was so damn hot in that fucking portable toilet that I was gifted with sweat wipes to freshen my ass! Now may I please receive that BJ you offered me this morning for raking the leaves?

by Dr.FartScientist June 13, 2017

9๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž