River

The name River means this person has big ears and earth gripping feet, usually has a busted cut and bad joint pain resulting in a hitch in their wrists and also in the lower body (I.e. knees) People named river are typically underdeveloped from their mental capacity to their physical features and are less likely to play any sports at a high level (aka D1). “Rivers” are always right hand dominant and can therefore not go left.

That boy wack asl, he must be a River