North Carolina

A nice place to live until you decide where you really want to live.

The so-called mountains are hours away from all the cities and are have no views as they are not really mountains and covered with trees. More like foothills.
The beaches are hours away from all the cities and hot as hell in the summer. The typical Carolina beach vacation is to rent a house miles from any restaurants and try not to get too burnt. There are no waves to speak of.
The Golf courses are World Class. And very numerous. The only thing that outnumber the golf courses are the churches. About a par-5 between churches.
The state is bordered to the south by South Carolina, a place so shockingly devoid of culture and populated by religious bigots that it makes one wonder what happens at the otherwise invisible state line.
The so-called cities are really overgrown suburbs. All linked together along the Interstate by strip-malls.
The state university system is very good. It is assumed that all residents are interested in college basketball and that you follow one of the local teams. You will be expected to be able to discuss basketball as easily as the weather.
The state-pastime is to go to the local Mall. Mall's in North Carolina fill up like it's Christmas every weekend.
If North Carolina were West of the Rockies it would be even more boring than Oregon.

Me: I'm moving from North Carolina.
You: Why ?
Me: Everything here is about half-way. I know what I want now.

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