Bass Trombone

The bass trombone is a weapon of mass destruction that is notable for its ability to destroy entire planets with sheer volume. Banned internationally by the Geneva Convention, it continues to see use via a technicality allowing it to be used as a "musical instrument". As such, musical ensembles who wish to thin out their audiences or viola sections will hire a bass trombonist (one who plays the bass trombone).

For a brief period, NASA used bass trombones to test spacecraft components' resilience under extreme conditions, but quickly found that the valuable components (along with the surrounding area) would never survive more than a few seconds.

Valerie: Why are you wearing full body armor to an orchestra concert, Terence?
Terence: I want to be ready for when the concert hall collapses after the bass trombone's fortissimo passage.

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