bone in ham

very similar to the pressed ham which is mooning a person through a window where you press your bare ass against the window with one twist. The bone in ham can only be performed by a male. He tucks his entire junk, frank and beans, between his cheeks right before pressing the ham.

We were on vacation in OBX and my boy was just about to get laid when I gave him and his girl to be a nice bone in ham. Bon apetit!

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weinmanned

The culmination of an all day drinking event that includes a professional sporting event with tailgating (shots of alcohol are required), and an extended stay at a strip club resulting in loss of good judgment followed by days apologizing to your significant other. Some common side effects are waking up the next morning not knowing where your car or phone is, extreme cotton mouth, several trips to the bathroom before you’ve had your morning coffee, trouble standing in the shower due to having a BAC still over the legal limit, and a bedroom filled with the stench of rum, cigarette smoke, and stripper salt.

We left for the Eagles game at 8:00 in the morning and didn’t get home until midnight. When I woke up I didn’t have my car or my phone. All I need to do is look in the parking lot for my pile of puke and my car should be next to it. Damn did I get weinmanned yesterday.

spiraled ham

Identical to the pressed ham (where you press your bare ass against the window for others to enjoy the view), except you take it to the next level by shitting while you are doing it.

I went to give a pressed ham to these assholes that cut us off on the expressway when all of a sudden in turned into a spiraled ham. Thankfully I had some maintenance wipes with me.

breckies

A morning meal usually prepared while on vacation by an individual with no culinary experience. Aside from the food prepared the chef wanna-be must prepare a blended alcoholic beverage and must be drinking while cooking.

How does french toast, bacon, sausage, and some rum runners sound for breckies tomorrow?

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