Underage drinking

When a person can fight in wars in risk of getting shot, blown up, hanged, stabbed, and even kidnapped, but is not allowed to drink a simple beverage

cop: you’re under arrest for underage drinking
18 year old soldier: I’ve witnessed my closest brothers in arms dying in my arms. I’ve seen women and children get shot and killed over some fucking tyrannical god. I’ve had to go to the hospital multiple times due to being shot and have even been stabbed once. And you’re telling me that I can’t enjoy 1 beer afterwards.
cop: uhhhhhhh... yes

8👍 5👎

Survival of the fittest

An excuse for being an asshole

person: Hey that cookie was mine
asshole: survival of the fittest

24👍 12👎

Closet

Where 7 minutes in heaven happen

Me and Cindy had 7 minutes in heaven in that closet last night

1👍 1👎

Sling shot

When you wanna sling shit like a monkey but u can’t throw like a monkey

Imma use my fuckin sling shot on these bullies

2👍 5👎

self-driving cars

Something I hope becomes mainstream in the near future

Wouldn't it be cool if everyone had self-driving cars

2👍 7👎

privacy

A thing that doesn't exist anymore.

The government is always trying to find new ways to invade our privacy to the point where it is impossible to not be watched.

93👍 33👎

Runner’s high

The high you get after a long workout or run.

Dis nibba be trippin out from that runner’s high he got

1👍 3👎