univac

This is an acronym for unusually nasty infection; vultures are circling.

That one has a UNIVAC; give him a Bible so he can study for the finals. He's gonna die.

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doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football

An ironic expression used by Southern males to express disbelief in or mild condemnation of some else's attitudes or behavior, supposedly drawing on some stereotypes of Southerners. (This expression possibly originated with Lewis Grizzard, a most excellent American humorist and commentator.)

Billy Bob eats strawberry Moon Pies and drinks Pepsi; only someone who doesn't love the Lord and Southeastern Conference football would do that.

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top-down awareness

That awkward moment when a person realizes that her bikini top has fallen out of place and others are aware of the fact.

In leaping up unto the raft, and seeing bemused stares from the boys, Angel experienced a not unpleasant top-down awareness.

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Nine F-er

A medical slang expression to refer to the typical gallbladder patient: Fat, fortyish, fecund, flatulent female with foul, foaming, floating feces.

Marge was your typical nine F-er: gallbladder problem likely.

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Daughtery Principle

The Daughtery Principle, named after American football coach Duffy Daughtery (1915-1987) of Michigan State University, states that: “A tie is like kissing your sister.” While both evolutionary psychology theory and sociological theory would predict that this familial phenomenon would lead to osculatory outcome dissatisfaction, it has not been systematically tested except possibly in West Virginia and Vermont.

Football, basketball. and basketball have such a horror of the Daughtery Principle being enacted that play continues through overtime or extra innings until the tie is broken.

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king cake

The traditional Mardi Gras circular cake: festively iced with purple, gold, and green frosting. A small bean or plastic doll baby is inserted somewhere in each one. The one who gets this has to provide the king cake next year.

We had the traditional New Orleans king cake. As, as is tradition, it was not very good this year, either. Still, it's a reminder of New Orleans: the best damned city in the country. Even though it's down now, it will come back, so hang loose and let the good times roll.

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Wookie

The mythical hairy man-beast allegedly living in the Honey Island Swamp in St. Tammany Parish, Louisiana.

Ever since Katrina, no one's seen the Wookie any more; chances are that he shaved and moved to Dallas and will start for the Cowboys.

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