Battery Denial

Where you continue to swap dead batteries in your electrical appliance over and over with one another, rather than getting another set.

"What are you doing?"

"Swapping the batteries over. 2 weeks left in these bad boys."

"He's in battery denial."

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Shower Coma

The state in the morning where you stand for hours in the shower with your arms crossed and head down, kidding yourself that you'll get out at some point.

"Why are you late for work?"

"Sorry sir, I was in a shower coma."

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Pasty Smash

To smash or want to smash someone's pasty means that you would like to have aggressive sex with them.

It can be announced verbally, or signalled by a firm punch into your other hands palm.

From experience, the quote sounds best when prenounced in a Somerset/Dorset accent.

How to use pasty smash in conversation;

*Attractive woman walks past*
"Fworr I would love to smash her pasty!"

"Her pasty would get a good smashin'!"

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