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Perkies

An exercise program most notably done by Opal Crankshaft. Done in a mirror in order to maintain the 'perky' expression on Opal's face.

Opal: Hey Martha, your face is sagging. You've got to do some perkies!

Martha: What the heck are perkies? I've never heard of that in all my 70 years.

Amos: Ten hut! A little facial PT, huh?

Opal: Yeah, you should try this. You're gonna love it! I do it all the time.

Amos: Might as well. If it's gonna make Martha look good it might make me look good too!

by Dusty's Baby Powder October 15, 2010

48πŸ‘ 80πŸ‘Ž


Shinvision

The idea of seeing the world through a dog's eyes. Often from the perspective of a person standing close with the dog near their feet so that only the person's tibia (shin) is seen. This is often seen in Ralph Drabble who has some of the toughest shins in the country.

Ralph: (eating a bag of pretzels) Hey Wally, you want one? (Kneels down so that Wally slams against Ralph's shins when running in)

Wally: Sure, I love seeing you humans' world this way. It's Shinvision. (Runs away tripping on the rug crashing hard into Opal Crankshaft's legs)

Opal: (screaming) Ow! Tender tibia, why do you do that? Wally, that hurt! My shins aren't as hard as Ralph's.

Wally: (barking and talking at same time) Sorry, Miss Opal, I was just trying to get the pretzel from Ralph. I didn't know I was going to bang you.

Opal: (reaches down and starts to massage Wally) Its okay, I understand! We older people, we don't understand shinvision. Its mostly you younger guys.

Ralph: (taking Opal's weights and starts exercising with them) Well, that was a real shin shock!

Opal: Sweet! This is wild. Seeing the world from your shins. Awesome baby!! (gives Ralph a high five and then high paws Wally)

by Dusty's Baby Powder April 1, 2011


Hand Grenade Heat

A very, very spicy chili made by Beatrice Middleton. Was a hit in mess halls in 1945, especially at Paris Island. Can be made of any meat, but mostly uses chicken or turkey. The secret is a mix of jalapeno and serrano peppers which she puts in with the meat. Don't get too close or it will explode. Hence the name: Hand Grenade Heat!

Beatrice: Hey y'all, who's hungry? I got something good. Who's ready for some Hand Grenade Heat?

Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?

Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.

Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!

Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!

Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.

Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!

Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?

Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!

by Dusty's Baby Powder July 27, 2011

1πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Liv Lean

Another stretch done by the Hatleys. Done by first stretching your hands into the air. Then bending forward almost to your feet. Its often done by Ben Hatley after he's been sitting for too long. It is also done by his wife, Liv. Guaranteed to relax a creaky back. Its one of the exercises collectively known as 'Hatley Stretches'.

Liv: Oh no, my back's all creaky. I gotta do a Liv Lean.

Ben: You poor thing! I know what you need. My back gets creaky sometimes, too. Only I do a Hatley Hula to stretch mine.

Liv: Yeah, but the Liv Lean is much easier. All you do is throw your hands up in the air and then lean forward. You know, like you were going to touch your toes, but you just dangle your hands in front. It gives you a good, long stretch in your back. (Liv demonstrates to Ben how the stretch is done).

Ben: Wow! This really works. Its a real s-t-r-e-t-c-h! (groans in relief) Good one, Liv! My back feels great now.

Liv: (starts laughing at him) I told you so! Its one of the best back stretches. This is great! Whenever your back is sore, a Liv Lean can perk it right up.

Opal: Did I hear you right? Is that one of your stretches you do? My back's a little creaky. Can you show me?

Ben: Sure, you stretch your hands over your head and then lean down almost to the ground. It really stretches the back.

Opal: Sweet! I'm gonna have to show this to Ed. He'll love it.

by Dusty's Baby Powder May 28, 2011


Cranberry Itch

Intense itching of the skin, often seen after working in the yard. Often in places in the yard where cranberries are known to grow. Most notably experienced by Ben Cranston when he can't reach his back.

Ben: Dang, I've got a bad case of the Cranberry Itch!

George: You've been out in the yard all day. Of course you got it.

Ben: (scoffs) Listen, Riker, don't do me this way. I need some calamine lotion, fast!

Liv: Ben, have you been in the Cranberry again? I told you you'd get Cranberry Itch if you go out there.

Ben: Yeah, and it's killing me. Scratch it for me, would you?

by Dusty's Baby Powder November 4, 2010


Rocketshake

A milkshake created by Ralph 'The Rocket' Meckler. It is very similar to a Cream of Crankshaft except using mint chocolate chip in place of the rocky road ice cream and keeping the vanilla. M&Ms are also added to represent stars.

Ed: Hey Nelson, you thirtsy? Want a Cream of Crankshaft?

Nelson: I'd rather have another type of milkshake instead. But I'm not sure what kind.

Ralph M: (excited) I got one for you, Nelson. How about a 'Rocketshake'?

Nelson: Wow, Mr. Meckler! What's in that?

Ralph M: Well, it's almost like Grandpa Ed's Cream of Crankshaft, but you use mint chocolate chip instead of rocky road ice cream, there's M&Ms in it. I'll whip you one up real quick.

(Ralph M makes the milkshake)

Ralph D: (sweating and panting) What in the world is that? I've never seen a milkshake like that.

Ralph M: It's a Rocketshake. You'll love it.

Nelson: Whoah, this is awesome!! It's a real blast!

Ralph M and Ralph D: They don't call it a Rocketshake for nothing, boy!!

Ed: Ten stars!

by Dusty's Baby Powder February 28, 2011

3πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Sweat Bat

A game played by cats where they bat at loose strings from sweat pants. Often known to catch owners off guard, especially if swiped in a sensitive area. This game is most often played by Ralph Drabble and his cat, Oogie.

Ralph: (not realizing he's left his pants open) It's a great day for a jog.

Oogie: (pounces and lands on Ralph's crotch) Meow!

Ralph: YEOW! That dang cat! This isn't supposed to be a game of sweat bat.

June: I told you, Ralph, tie those sweatpants shut!

by Dusty's Baby Powder December 31, 2011

1πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž