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A mall cop that also coaches youth sports, especially their kids' soccer team. The most famous Cop Coach is Ralph Drabble who helps referee his son, Patrick's, soccer games. Cop Coaches are often criticized by their bad calls. But in the end a Cop Coach can be a sweet man. So next time you want a great game but you don't want to encroach, make friends with the ref, he just might be a Cop Coach!
Ralph: Great game, huh? Those boys were killing me. I was one worn out Cop Coach!
Liv: Cop Coach? What is that? Is that a cop that also coaches soccer?
Ralph: Sure, I coach my son, Patrick's, soccer team, The Varmits. He loves it! I never make bad calls on him.
Patrick: Yeah, Miss Liv, he's right. He never does make bad calls on me. He's one great coach!
Liv: Well, do you want me to help coach you, too? Me and my husband Ben could help.
Patrick: Yes, I don't need just a Cop Coach.
Liv: You are so sweet! See you at the next soccer game. Me and Grandpa Ben will be there with sweats on.
Patrick: Sweet! Cop Coaches rock!
Ralph: (blowing the coach whistle) You'd better move it, boy. You're gonna get glared!
2π 2π
A dinosaur that looks very similar to a T Rex but also has Opal Crankshaft's head. Its also known as the Opalsaurs Rex, or simply the O Rex. They often wear sneakers and always have glasses. Unlike T Rexes, the O Rex is cute and cuddly. She loves hugging on her grandchildren.
Nelson: Hey Roscoe, let's read my dinosaur book. I bet you're going to love it. There are some cute dinosaurs in here.
Roscoe: (barking at Nelson) Woof. This is going to be fun! I bet we'll see an Opalsaurus.
Nelson: Ok. (He begins to read)
Opal: (Warm California Sun playing on her headphones) Here comes the Opalsaurus! Look out now! She's coming to get you! (singing) She's out here having fun in that warm Jurassic sun! ROAR!
Nelson: (screaming, making Roscoe jump) Why did you do that? You scared me!
Opal: Sorry, honey. I was only doing my aerobics, pretending to be a dinosaur. You know, the O Rex wouldn't hurt you! I'm your grandma for crying out loud.
Nelson: (laughing) Weird. I never knew you you would make a good dinosaur.
Opal: There's tons of grandma dinosaurs. The Opalsaurus is just one of them. And they love their grandkids!! You know what time it is now? How about if old O Rex gives you a rub down. You know, a massage? How would that be?
Nelson: Great! You sure make a great dinosaur! If you're the O Rex, I'm the Nelsonasaurus.
Opal: Well, ok, let's get to work! (starts singing again) We'll be out here having fun, in this warm Sparks, Nevada sun! (saying it twice).
11π 5π
A handshake used by Marine Corps soldiers. First invented by Gunnery Sergeant Beatrice Middleton in 1945. Done this way: first, slapping a high five; sliding the hand lower and giving a slightly lower five; closing of fist and tucking the thumb in; then bumping them while saying "Eagle, globe, and anchor"; then as the hand is pulled and shaken and "Away we go!" is said. Also, when the fives are given, "Up high" and "down low" are said as well.
Amos: Hey Sarge, there's a party down in the defac.
Orville: (confused, not knowing what Amos is saying) This crazy thing. What's this hand thing they're doing? Are they trying to show off?
Beatrice: No, it's the Gunny Five. I invented this. Let me show you how.
(Beatrice gives the Gunny Five to Amos. Amos passes the Gunny Five to Orville)
Beatrice: You do it that way, it's easy!
Martha: These men are going crazy. What's with all these fives? I want to learn how.
Beatrice: (demonstrating to Martha) Up high, down low, eagle, globe, and anchor, and away we go!
Martha: (yelling) That's funky. I'm going to have to teach all the soldiers that.
(Orville and Amos wink at each other then look at Martha and give the Gunny Five to Martha)
A disease held by all Toledo Mudhens Fans, moreso in the old timers. It is often caught by fans watching the old timer reunion games with class of 1945. Mudhen Fever is especially held by Ed Crankshaft, Dale 'Beanball' Bushka, Jefferson 'J.J.' Jacks, and Fred 'Dusty' Duncan.
Dale: (talking to the team) OK boys, we're almost ready to come out here.
Ed: (screaming) Yeah, Mudhen Fever time! I'd better start doing my Mudhen Bends.
Beanball: Mind if we all join you? We're all Mudhens here.
Dusty: Aye, yes, the magic of the Mudhen Fever. This is going to be a good game.
Dale: (on the P.A. system) Introducing the Toledo Mudhens class of 1945.
Nelson: Oh boy, this is going to be a good game. I get to see Grandpa Ed in his old Mudhen suit.
Beanball: You're right, who knows, you might get a signed ball by him. Bryant has one. (picks up the signed baseball and hands the ball to Nelson). See, 'Ed Crankshaft', best Toledo Mudhens pitcher ever!
Ed: (overhears Beanball and Nelson, the gang gets together and starts slapping Gunny Fives) Mudhen Silver, Mudhen Gold, you guys are young and we're all old! (as in a taunt to the other team, who is Rochester Red Wings class of 1972)
Nelson: Have a good game, Grandpa Ed. I'll be rooting for you.
Beanball, Dusy, J.J.: That's right, Nelson. He's not just A Mudhen, he's the BEST Mudhen!
(The game begins and no one is talking)
1π 1π
The condition of having used coco butter and honey lotion. Often given in the form of a massage or beauty treatment. This is most notably seen in Opal Crankshaft, but has also been seen in others, such as her husband, Earl.
Opal: Just look at your hands. They're like a snake.
Earl: Yeah, maybe I need to be honeyhanded.
Opal: Yeah, you should try that lotion we always use. It has honey in it.
Earl: Well, I didn't like it at first. But maybe I should try it again.
Opal: Here, sweetie, I'll honey your hands for you!
3π 1π
A crazy funky dance created by Amos Halftrack. Was first done on April 10, 2011. In order to prepare for this dance, punch or some other liquid must be spilled on the ground so as to make the other person slip in it. Thus creating the image of dancing although it is not. It often ends with the person slamming down onto their bottom with a loud WHOMP sound.
Papa Amos: Hey, wanna dance? There's 'Why Don't We Just Dance' is playing.
Marty: Well, of course. We're gonna have to do the Halftrack Slip here. I'll go get that punch bowl and dump it on the ground. (she takes the punch bowl and pours it on the floor)
Papa Amos: Well, here goes nothing. (He slips and crashes into Sergeant Snorkel who starts laughing at him)
Orville: What is this? This dance looks fun!
Papa Amos: Its the Halftrack Slip. Its the latest craze here at Camp Swampy. Why don't you try it? (he hands Sgt. Snorkel a cup of punch which Sgt. Snorkel pours on the floor)
Stainy: Sweet heavenly angels! This dance is going to slip us all the way back to heaven!
Marty: You're right! We'll be slipping our way through this old swamp until we called up to the Pearly Gates. (she starts rotfl)
Papa Amos: This is more than the Halftrack Slip. Its also the Camp Swampy Stomp!
1π 1π
The condition of Ed Crankshaft of trying to feed his cat, Pickles. Except Pickles sometimes does not want to be fed. This is also known as 'airplane spoon' due to Ed using the old 'airplane-into-the-hangar' trick on Pickles.
Elmer: Edward, what the heck are you doing?
Ed: I'm trying to feed the cat, but he won't eat. He's just being Crankcatted.
Roger: I've never heard of a cat being fed with a spoon!
Ed: It worked on my daughters, why can't it work for my cat?!
Pickles: (angry) Meow! I'm not having this, Ed, quit doing it!