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Mall Grizzly

It's a bear that patrols malls, often catching bad shoppers and putting them in mall jails. One of many mall cop animals.

Ralph: It's been a rough day. The mall grizzly out here is really crazy.

Emily: Do you think we can trap them? We need some honey.

Ralph: No, mall grizzlies don't eat honey, they eat money!!

by Dusty's Baby Powder October 9, 2010


Ed Stretches

An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.

Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.

Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.

Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?

Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.

Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.

(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)

Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.

Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!

by Dusty's Baby Powder March 23, 2011

9πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Coach K Chicken

A form of fried chicken created by Beatrice Middleton. Done by marinating the chicken in blueberry juice, thus imparting a blue color and sweet flavor. It is often eaten before Duke games to get into the mood to win. It was named after Duke basketball coach Mike "Coach K" Krzyzewski. Beatrice just happens to be friends with him being an alumnus of Duke herself.

Beatrice: Hey honey, are you hungry? I'm fixing you some Coach K Chicken. This is devilishly delicious!

Bryant: How do you make it? It looks like it tastes good.

Beatrice: You marinate the chicken in blueberry juice. It makes it sweet. Turns it a really pretty shade of blue, too. (screaming) GO BLUE DEVILS!

Coach K: Well if it isn't Beatrice Middleton herself. I hear you're making my chicken. I'm pretty hungry. The boys just had a big game. We smashed NC State good!

Beatrice: Okay, its almost done. (fries the chicken) Here, try this. See what you think of it.

(Coach K and Bryant try the chicken)

Bryant: Wow! This blueberry juice really pops. Its like a blueberry in my mouth.

Coach K: Good one, Beatrice! I haven't had this in a long time. I'm gonna have to teach the guys how to make this.

Beatrice: Well, if Coach K likes it, everyone will! This Gunny Granny sure can cook! Hey, there's a Duke game on. Let's take it in the living room, boys. This is going to be sweet. This is one kickin' chicken!

by Dusty's Baby Powder August 15, 2011

12πŸ‘ 7πŸ‘Ž


Grandma Class

1. A class taken by older people often at a college or senior center. It can be anything: exercise, macrome, art, and etc.

2. A class taught by a grandma. Most notably by Mrs. Opal Crankshaft who homeschools her grandson, Nelson, as a substitute teacher for her husband, Earl.

Opal: (coming into the room) Hey Nelson, are you ready for your Grandma Class?

Nelson: (with a shocked expression) What's a Grandma Class?

Opal: Well, its a class that's taught by grandmas. You'll love it, its fun!

Nelson: Where's Grandpa Earl?

Opal: He couldn't be here. He's gone to a Grandma Class of his own at the senior center. I'm his substitute. Come on, let's go get busy. This is gonna rock!!

Nelson: I think I'm going to like this class. I get to hang out with my Grandma!

Opal: Well, grandmas are the best teachers!

by Dusty's Baby Powder January 26, 2011

5πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Rogers Rub

A massage given by Flo Rogers to her best friend and fellow military granny, Beatrice Middleton. A Rogers Rub is most often given before a card game or any other hard time. Rogers Rub is guaranteed to melt stress away. Not a believer yet? Ask Flo Rogers to give you one one time. You will love it! Flo Rogers guaranteed! S.W.A.A.

Flo: Oh no, I'm so stiff. They don't call it Body Poker for nothing. My whole body hurts. I need my Rogers Rub.

Beatrice: (she is putting the cards back) A Rogers Rub? Give me one too! You know I like them. Let's use the Martian Mud.

Flo: Sure, full body or just half?

Beatrice: Well, you know it works best if you go full body with it. A Gunny Granny can't take stress. Hey, its a dirty job, but a Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!

Flo: Hey, I know the feeling. I love a massage, too. And the Rogers Rub is one of the best ways. It sure does melt your body! (Flo and Beatrice start massaging each other)

Beatrice: Oh yeah, this is just flying away. That Body Poker game really took a lot out of me.

Flo: Yeah, it did me too. But, see, a Rogers Rub is a great massage! And it isn't just a massage, we can stretch while we're doing it. (she starts stretching on Flo's ankle)

Flo: (reaches up and kisses Beatrice) Yes, the Rogers Rub - one of the best Sea Granny secrets! A Sea Granny cannot set sail without a Rogers Rub. So creamy!

by Dusty's Baby Powder September 25, 2011

12πŸ‘ 19πŸ‘Ž


Marty Melt

A love exercise created by Martha Halftrack. Done by hugging someone then letting go and hugging them again. The constant hug and release motion is also a chest exercise. It is called a Marty Melt because when Marty hugs you, you melt into her. She uses this on her husband, Amos, and her favorite grandson, Bryant Hollifield.

Amos: Oh no, the guys at the party we're talking bad smack about me. I'm gonna get them. After all, I am a B.G., commander of Camp Swampy.

Marty: Whoah, dear. Easy there. I got an exercise that will have you loving them again. Its a Marty Melt. Come here and hug me, but then let go. And when you hug me, I mean SQUEEZE!

Amos: Sure, but how would squeezing on you get the guys to love me? You don't hug them.

Marty: (laughs) Well, its one way I show you love. Come on, Amos, we've been married 53 years. I've loved since the day I met you. (she hugs him hard)

Amos: (returns the hug) Whoah! That's a power hug right there. This is one sweet exercise! Maybe I should tell the other guys.

Bryant: Hey, are you two up to something sweet? Are you getting mushy on him? Let me at it!

Marty: Here, dear. Its your turn. You haven't tried the Marty Melt yet. Now, give Grandma Marty a big hug and don't let go until I say.

Bryant: (hugs Marty) Wow! That's a real burner. My chest is stinging.

Marty: Well, that's a Marty Melt. It really massages your heart. You go all gooey when you get one of these. I love it!

Bryant: Sweet and awesome! I'm gonna have to show Gunny Granny, she'd love it! The Marty Melt is hot!

by Dusty's Baby Powder October 23, 2011

14πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


Rocky Ralph

It's an alcoholic drink made with Rocky Road ice cream and Bailey's Irish Cream.

Ralph: "Hey, you thirsty? How 'bout a Rocky Ralph?"

Bryant: "Love one! Had a tough day."

Ralph: "I'm sorry. I know you love this."

Bryant: "Thanks. Better double up on the Bailey's; it was a really tough day!"

R+B slainte

by Dusty's Baby Powder September 9, 2010