Random
Source Code
Random
A milkshake made of vanilla and rocky road ice cream. The chocolate represents oil, the white air. It is often eaten at Toledo Mudhens games, most often by Ed Crankshaft.
Ed: There's a pitcher of Cream of Crankshaft in the fridge if you want one.
Nate: Well, maybe, but I've never had one. What is it?
Ed: It's this milkshake I make. Its vanilla and rocky road ice cream.
Nate: Would they sell it at bus stops?
Ed: They sure would. I sell them in the summer off my truck. It's awesome!
1π 1π
An exercise program created by Ben Hatley. Used as a warm up stretch before he does other things. His wife, Liv, often joins him as do his four grandkids, especially Nick. He often will spend hours doing these, much to Liv's dismay. This is one of the best warm up stretches you can do.
Ben: (groaning) Oh, I threw my back out. I should have done my Hatleystretch.
Liv: No problem. I was about to do my Tai Chi anyway. Want me to help?
Ben: Sure! Once I stretch out, here, I'm hopping on the Benmobile. (Ben and Liv start stretching each other)
Liv: Here, easy there, don't overstretch it, now. You don't want to tear up a muscle.
Ben: Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should just do it easy so that we just warm the muscle. We don't want it to rip.
Nick: What are you two doing? Can I try it, too?
Ben: Sure! Its just our Hatleystretch. Why don't you try it? Granma Liv can help.
Liv: (takes Nick and starts stretching him) Now this is easy. Just do what I do, okay?
Nick: (starts laughing) Wow! This feels great. Have you always done this?
(Ben and Liv both start laughing)
Ben: Yup! We've been doing it for several years. Heck, I invented it! Used to do it when I lugged mail.
Liv: I've done it, too! Helps me with my Tai Chi. (lunges at Nick doing a crane punch)
Nick: Wow! Hatleystretches are nice! I'm gonna have to tell Mommy and Daddy how!
The reverse of a Swampy Romp. A date between Amos Halftrack and Bryant Hollifiield. Held without his wife, Martha, aka Marty, knowing the date is often held very sneakily. Amos often grabs Bryant wanting to get out of the house. Marty Parties are fun! If you want some fun time, don't be tardy - you don't want to be late for a Marty Party!
Amos: Hey Bryant, let's get out of here. I got a golf game with Major Burk today. You want to come?
Bryant: Sure! This is gonna be a Marty Party. Marty won't even know we're gone.
Amos: I got an idea. Why don't I wear my PJs and that party hat? Randy's gonna flip! (he laughs at Bryant)
Bryant: This is gonna be good. Boy, are we gonna have fun!
Amos: Why not?! You know you love to have dates with us. This is your first Marty Party, I think.
Randy: Hey Amos, long time, no see! You here for our golf game? And who is the boy?
Amos: This is my friend, Bryant Hollifield. We're having a Marty Party. Just him and me. The wife isn't here.
Randy: (shakes Bryant's hand) I'm Major Randy Burk. I've heard so much about you. You were at the party the other night, weren't you?
Bryant: Yes. I hope I didn't ruin it.
Randy: No, you didn't. Here, let's play! What do you think, maybe nine holes? With whoever gets the most putts in the holes wins? (they all start playing)
Amos: Whoah, that was a fun game we played! I can't believe we beat him. Boy, is Marty gonna be mad! (he runs to his easy chair and flops down in it)
Marty: Where have you been? Did you have a good time?
Bryant: Sure! You missed it. Marty Parties rock. You should have been there.
5π 3π
A text message sent by Opal Crankshaft to her close friend and grandson, Bryant Hollifield. They started doing this when Opal misread LOL to mean 'Lots of Love'. She uses it on Facebook as well as on her cell. The initials mean 'Love You Lots'. So if your relationship with your sweetie isn't going well, try sending them an LYL!
Opal: Oh great! Another great Facebook message. I wonder who wrote this?
Earl: I did! I sent you an LYL. Its not that difficult. You still look as pretty as the day I first met you!
Sylvia: Dad, you LYL'd Mom? That's sweet! But what is LYL? I've always heard of LOL, but not that one.
Opal: (she takes her cell out) Well, it means Love You Lots. Me and Bryant use it. He loves it. (she kisses Sylvia and texts LYL)
Pearl: Yeah, that's a real love maker there! When you see an LYL, look out! Your heart's gonna burst.
Opal: That's right, Sis, gotta warm up those love muscles. (she kisses Pearl).
Earl: Sweet! LYL is very pretty. (they all take their cell phones and make a toast) Here's to us, LYL! Love You Lots!
17π 24π
A form of tea that is drunk by Beatrice Middleton when she is stressed or tired. It's made of lavender and chamomile flowers, steeped in a pot of hot water. Used to treat stressful situations due to her recent coaching.
Beatrice: Hey you all. Do you want some stress tea? I just made a whole big pot full.
Opal: Sure, I've been really stressed. Ed's been nagging me all day long. Oh, the nerve of that man!
Liv: (crying and screaming) Oh, that Benjamin!! He's gonna get it when I get with done, oh my God!!
Beatrice: Liv, what in the world did he do?
Liv: He's hogging that Benmobile again! He's always on that thing.
Bryant: (with red fire coming out of his eyes, yelling) Shut up! This is just too much. Just drink the stress tea and be done with it!
Beatrice: (laughing at Bryant) Good one! Spoken like a true coach. (hands Bryant a stress tea) Here's to non-stressed grandmas everywhere!
Bryant: Skal! (Norwegian saying for 'cheers')
Liv: Thanks, maybe I should give this to Ben. He'll love it, too.
A ritual done by all husbands in the morning. Especially if their wives have just walked in. Often seen as staring into a mirror with the intent of looking at one's chest, flexing the pecs in the process.
Ralph: (staring at himself) Ready, begin. One, two, one, two....
June: What the heck are you doing? I've never seen you do that.
Ralph: Calm down, honeybunches, it's just a pec-check.
June: I gotta admit, you do love showing off that mall cop body of yours.
2π 1π
A dandelion-like weed that has Earl Pickles' face. Often it is not quite grown revealing a bald piece in the middle of its head. It is often killed by spraying a blow torch at it, firecrackers, or some other form of weed poison. Earlweed greens are also delicious to eat. So when you see a flower you just can't defeat, chances are it is an Earlweed!
Earl: Oh no, there's Earlweeds all over the yard. Time to break out the big guns. (he gets out a blow torch) Take that!
Nelson: Hold on, that's ugly. You don't want to kill a defenseless little weed! See how much it looks like you? (he picks one up and shows it to Earl)
Earl: Yes, they're pretty. But they must be destroyed! (he throws the torch at them. The torch explodes destroying all the Earlweeds) Take that! Victory is mine!
Opal: What have you done? You destroyed our garden. Why? (she starts crying) There were some pretty flowers there, and you ruined them.
Nelson: They were Earlweeds. They look like Grandpa Earl. You see? Cute!
Earl: Are you hungry? I think she made some Earlweed soup. We put those bad boys to good use! Long live Earlweed!
3π 1π