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The act of spending all day with your grandma. Often Mother's Day, or some other special day. The word was coined on May 8, 2011 by Opal Crankshaft and said to her adopted grandson, Bryant.
Opal: (holding up two different color blouses up to Bryant) Which one should I wear? What do you think, purple or pink?
Bryant: Well, the purple looks good on you. Why not wear that? (suddenly realizes today is Mother's Day) Or wait, better yet, keep the robe! Let's get Grannied!!
Opal: Now you're talking. This is a perfect day to get Grannied. Its not every day I get to lounge around in my bathrobe.
Bryant: Yeah, you're right. This is a treat for you. Massages, spa treatments - you name it. Today is a perfect day for it!
Ramona: Hey, but what about me? Remember, honey, you used to have a big crush on me. Whatever happened to that?
Bryant: Hey Ma Garggle, long time no see! This is one of my other grandmas, Opal Crankshaft. (Ramona and Opal shake hands)
Bryant: How's Thorny and Hornet?
Brutus: We're fine. Gladdys couldn't be here. But I came down.
Bryant: Sweet! We go back quite a long way, all the way to 1996.
Brutus: Yeah, we lost touch there for a while. Who's this grandma you're talking about? Its not my mother-in-law, Ramona, is it?
Bryant: No. Brutus Thornapple; Opal Crankshaft. (Brutus and Opal shake hands).
Opal: Its a great day to get Grannied, huh? A couple of new friends that I've never met. One of my favorite grandsons. A great way to stay busy on Mother's Day! Doing nothing but r-e-l-a-x!!
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An oatmeal made by Opal Crankshaft. It is made of oats, corn, and several other grains mixed with fresh violet flowers. It is often served warm, with violet infused milk poured on top. Its delicious at any time, but is mostly eaten for breakfast or supper. So if you're looking for something quick and easy to eat for dinner, try some Opalmeal - it will make an Opal out of you!
Opal: Hey Nelson, I got something good for you tonight! I'm made us some Opalmeal.
Nelson: Opalmeal? What in the world is that? You crazy grandma.
Opal: Oooh, its heaven, sweetie! Just wait till you taste it! Oats and corn and all sorts of other grains, mixed with fresh violets. Here, you want some?
Hec: Opalmeal? Boy do I need some of that! I've been Dragon Walking all day. All that has made me hungry.
Opal: Here, try this. Its sweet. Tons of delicious!
Hec: (he eats some) Wow! That's creamy and sweet. I think everyone should eat this. Hey Nelson, you want some?
Nelson: (he tastes his) You know, she's right! This IS delicious! This isn't just any old oatmeal; this is Dragon food!
Hec: (laughing) You got that right! Never underestimate the power of Opalmeal! Good for humans and dragons, too. (starts Dragon Walking again)
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An old army uniform that is now hard to wear. Often you can hardly fit into it and it often has to be squeezed shut. The most notable set of Gunny Greens belongs to MSGT/GYSGT Earl Pickles USA USMC Ret. His wife, Opal, can't believe he still has it.
Earl: Uh oh, its almost Veterans Day. I'd better whip out my old Gunny Greens. (laughs)I can't fit into these babies anymore, but I still love to wear them.
Ed: Gunny Greens? You know I've got a set of them, too. Back when the Army and Air Force were all one lump, I wore them. It was sweet!
Ben: (looking shocked) What are you two talking about? I've never heard of Gunny Greens. I never wore those.
Earl: (laughing again) Here, try these on. See what you think. (he hands the uniform to Ben) Its probably not gonna fit you, but you'll love it.
Ben: (squeezes himself into the uniform) Fits great! Can I keep this one?
Earl: Sure! You can keep this one. I've got tons more.
Opal: You are crazy! I can't believe you kept that thing! If the folks at Camp Swampy saw that, they would have a fit. Amos Halftrack would be rolling.
Earl: No, no. I can't part with this. That's my Gunny Greens, there. Who knows, I might get called back into the service someday. Me and that old suit have been through a lot. (salutes) TEN HUT! At ease!
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A mix of the words 'relax' and 'Opal'. Used for when Opal Crankshaft relaxes on the couch when she's stressed out or seems sick. She once told her grandson, Nelson, she was our of sorts, but he didn't know what she meant.
Opal: I'm all out of sorts today. This is crazy. I think it's time to Opalax.
Myrtle: What do you mean? Opalax? Now, I know about relaxing. I used to be a massage therapist, you know?
Opal: It's a mix of the words 'relax' with my name. I use it when I stretch out on the couch. You know how us old women are!
Myrtle: That's wild. I never heard of it before. In Aiwa Beach, Hawaii where I'm from we never even think of Opalaxing. We do pineapple massage down there.
Opal: (shocked) Pineapple massage? Myrtle, what are you talking about?
Myrtle: Come on, sweetheart. Just try it. It'll relax you more than you ever thought. (takes crushed pineapple and starts rubbing it on Opal)
Opal: Oh yeah, this is creamy. I'm all Opalaxed now!
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An exercise program most notably done by Opal Crankshaft. Done in a mirror in order to maintain the 'perky' expression on Opal's face.
Opal: Hey Martha, your face is sagging. You've got to do some perkies!
Martha: What the heck are perkies? I've never heard of that in all my 70 years.
Amos: Ten hut! A little facial PT, huh?
Opal: Yeah, you should try this. You're gonna love it! I do it all the time.
Amos: Might as well. If it's gonna make Martha look good it might make me look good too!
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The idea of seeing the world through a dog's eyes. Often from the perspective of a person standing close with the dog near their feet so that only the person's tibia (shin) is seen. This is often seen in Ralph Drabble who has some of the toughest shins in the country.
Ralph: (eating a bag of pretzels) Hey Wally, you want one? (Kneels down so that Wally slams against Ralph's shins when running in)
Wally: Sure, I love seeing you humans' world this way. It's Shinvision. (Runs away tripping on the rug crashing hard into Opal Crankshaft's legs)
Opal: (screaming) Ow! Tender tibia, why do you do that? Wally, that hurt! My shins aren't as hard as Ralph's.
Wally: (barking and talking at same time) Sorry, Miss Opal, I was just trying to get the pretzel from Ralph. I didn't know I was going to bang you.
Opal: (reaches down and starts to massage Wally) Its okay, I understand! We older people, we don't understand shinvision. Its mostly you younger guys.
Ralph: (taking Opal's weights and starts exercising with them) Well, that was a real shin shock!
Opal: Sweet! This is wild. Seeing the world from your shins. Awesome baby!! (gives Ralph a high five and then high paws Wally)
A very, very spicy chili made by Beatrice Middleton. Was a hit in mess halls in 1945, especially at Paris Island. Can be made of any meat, but mostly uses chicken or turkey. The secret is a mix of jalapeno and serrano peppers which she puts in with the meat. Don't get too close or it will explode. Hence the name: Hand Grenade Heat!
Beatrice: Hey y'all, who's hungry? I got something good. Who's ready for some Hand Grenade Heat?
Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?
Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.
Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!
Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!
Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.
Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!
Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?
Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!
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