John Hancock

(n.) American shipping magnate and possible smuggler who became famous for his role in the American Revolution. He served as President of the Second Continental Congress, was famously a signatory to the Declaration of Independence, and later became the first post colonial governor of Massachusetts. In addition to these accomplishments, Hancock was a prolific author on the subject of masturbation. He wrote several authoritative treatises on the matter (several of which were banned on the orders of George Washington), and famously challenged the widely-held opinion of his fellow Founding Father, Dr. Benjamin Rush, that masturbation caused blindness and hairy palms.

John Hancock was one of America's most illustrious founding fathers and early sex educators.

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