Fucked The Monkey

To perform a slight error that unwittingly caused horrible, catastrophic level events

reference to: the widely-believed myth that AIDS began after someone fucked a monkey, caught the disease and then spread it through mankind.

A: "so I was writing a dirty email to my girl and accidentally sent it to my boss, her husband found it on her phone, thought she was cheating, and killed her and himself, now the company is folding and 400 people are without work and since this is a private hospital it's leaving 1000 patients without care....."

B: "dude, you fucked the monkey"

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Wearing the number 2 headband

Reference to Afro-Samurai, the popular Anime starring Samuel L. Jackson (voice) as the title character.

In a futuristic yet feudal Japan, it is said that the one who wields the Number 1 headband is the fiercest fighter in the world and shall possess godlike powers. The only way to obtain the Number 1 headband is to challenge and defeat him in combat. However, only the Number 2 can challenge the Number 1, while anyone can challenge the Number 2, which causes a constant struggle for the Number 2 headband.

This is used when it seems like EVERYONE has a bone to pick with you in a given day

dude, my girlfriends pissed at me, my roommate's on my case, my co-workers left me with a pile of work and my boss says im on thin ice -- I must be wearing the number 2 headband

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