black ice

1: In cyberpunk terms, any type of malware. Viruses, trojans, spyware,etc.

2: In normal boring everyday terms, the ice that covers black pavement, typicallly almost impossible to spot during the night and easily slipped on.

Just switching to Mozilla helps you avoid a lot of black ice.

I busted my ass on the black ice outside of Ruby Tuesday's.

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crimminy jimsus

This phrase is an exclaimation which is used in substitute for and/or in coincidence with saying Jesus Christ. Popular variants are: crimminy, crimminus, crimminy godsus and crimminy crocket

Crimminy jimsus! That bitch is hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock!

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Geyer's theory

Function: Noun
Etymology: Hectorian
Definition: A scientific term coined by the scientist Kyle Geyer.
The theory states that, in all circumstances related to earth,
1."3+chair=house"
2."house-chair=3"
3."house-3=chair"

"No, According to Geyer's theory, you're equation fails to address a number of variables!"

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tea bagging

The act of putting your balls in and out of a persons mouth.

Well if ya didnt sleep with your mouth open I wouldnt have tea bagged ya dude

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elder god

The above definitions are incorrect.

The Elder Gods are an Ancient Stellar Race of Beings that dwelt in supreme darkness in a time long since forgotten, a time before there was ever Light. The Ancient Ones were the rulers of this darkness. Then came such a time that The Elder Gods stood up against the evil Ancient Ones and thus a Great and Terrific War was fought in the Heavens.

The Great God Marduk, Begotten of Our Master Enki, Ruler of the Seas; Marduk, who is Lord of Lords and Master of Magicians, Fashioner of The Magic Name, The Magic Shape, The Magic Number and The Magic Word, was given Fifty Weapons and Fifty Powers with which to fight The Ancient Ones. These Powers are the remaining, unmentioned Names of The Elder Gods.

During The Great War, the awful God Tiamat, The Writhing Serpent, was slain by Marduk and thrown down into Absu, The Abyss, there to be forever kept, save when a magician of the blackest of arts is skillful enough to rouse The Ancient Ones and The Serpent of the Deep, Cthulhu, and open The Gates to The Outside and allow Them that dwell Therein entry into Our World.

And from the fluids of Tiamat were The Heavens and The Earth created as well as The Stars.

Also slain was Kingu, Ruler of The Ancient Ones, and from His body He did bleed and from His blood did The Elder Gods create the race of Man.

"Stoop not down, therefore,
Unto the Darkly-Splendid World,
Wherein continually lieth a faithless Depth
And Hades wrapped in clouds,
Delighting in unintelligable images,
Precepitous, winding
A black, ever-rolling Abyss
Ever espousing a Body unluminous
Formless
and Void"- The Chaldean Oracles of Zoroaster

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GRRRRRRR

So mad you dont even know what to say anymore.

That fukin guy man GRRRRRRR

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Something Awful

A comedy website that was funny about 6 years ago. Has grown into a sprawling mess of arrogance, petulence and tired pseudo-irony. Still has the occasional gem but more often than not misses the mark with its rambling 'comedy' diatribes and just plain depressing forums.
Inclusion of angsty teenager David Thorpe just demonstrates how low the website has sunk.

Something Awful is no longer funny.

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