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A trendymom is a mom born from 1980-1990 that attempts to be relevant by joining every single fad. Unfortunately, trendymoms do not have the capacity to know when a fad is dead.
Man 1: How dafuq did the wii win the console wars?
Man 2: because trendymoms.
Suburbs extending out for an absurd distance from a city center. To be truly hell, these suburbs have to have absolutely no mixed use developments. Extra points if there's a sea of parking lots outside all stores.
Suburban hell is either car focused (growing because of middle-class, mostly white families seeing the city centre as "rough") or the result of high-capacity transit (i.e metro systems) going too far out of an urban centre. The latter example tends to devolve into the former.
Examples of cities that are surrounded by suburban hell:
London (It's not just an American problem)
Phoenix (A bunch of suburbs disguised as a city)
New York City (Especially in Long Island and New Jersey)
Los Angeles (Hope you like highways)
Shanghai (to an absurd degree)
These areas tend to have lots of homeowners. Said homeowners have also probably bought all the residential properties in downtown as an investment so nobody can actually live there. They also are the proud owners of large SUVs if only to compensate for something.
Bob: Are we out of London yet?
Mike: Not even close. There's umpteen thousand miles of suburban hell to get through.
The kid who plays annoying meme music (highlights include Dame Da Ne and the USSR Anthem) in the back of the bus. Also a frequent generator of reddit moments.
He still hasn't found out why nobody finds his Jeremying to be funny.
One day, Jeremy McUnfunny walked onto the bus, and plonked his pathetic rear end onto the seat furthest from the underpaid eyes of the bus driver. He immediately turned on his overpriced phone, opened YouTube, and played "SOVIET ANTHEM EAR RAPE" much to the entire bus's chagrin. When he was supposed to hand in his History presentation, he instead "stick-bugged" the entire class for worthless reddit karma. Nobody found that funny either.
Different types of suburbia:
Northeast Suburb: A standard suburb, filled with endless single family houses, affluent moderate liberals and their children. You can find a lot of these in New Jersey and Long Island.
Midwest Suburb: Where the Republican Party and Walmart are cornerstones of the community. You WILL get funny looks if you drive through here as a black person.
Gated Community: Paranoid and rich nutcases, mostly. Also most of the town is just golf courses.
Sun Belt Suburb: Filled with retirees who contribute absolutely nothing to the downtown economy besides their taxes.
Streetcar Suburb: Suburbs that have townhomes and the occasional apartment building. They tend to be affluent and liberal, like the Northeast Suburb but more diverse. You can actually walk to the store or catch the bus here.
Exurbs: Generally isolated culs-de-sac off a rural road/highway. God help the kids that grow up here. The home turf of McMansions.
Bob: Growing up in suburbia as an only child was hell…
David: I grew up in the suburbs and it was fine…
Bob: I didn’t mean “the northernmost parts of the Bronx” I meant Pond Heights in the middle of buttfuck Egypt.
Somebody so unbelievably dumb you swear that they must have dropped out of preschool.
5th Grader In 2010: "Justin Bieber's audience are all preschool dropouts! LOL!"
Green shit. Your digestive system is probably working too fast and didn’t get the bile out of your dump. Or your just ate a shitton of asparagus and discoloured it.
Bob: Alright, who left a lump of Shit-lent Green in the toilet?
Alice: (looking back and forth) Wasn’t me.
Bob: Cut down on the asparagus, I beg you!
12 year olds who spend all their time making Tik-toks and unironically saying Wholesome 100. They are also probably either Fortnite kids or treat r/fuckepic as the bible.
I have a bunch of Class of 2027 kids on my bus. A bunch of them held up the bus because they thought making a Tik-Tok while I was trying to get on was a good idea. Fucking numnuts.