maryland

We aren't northern, we aren't southern, we just chill. We can catch cook and crack our own crabs from our own bay. It isn't strange to see people wearing abnormally large sunglasses, polo shirts (sometimes two), pearls, seersucker shorts, Lily dresses, Vera Bradley handbags, boat shoes, rainbow flip flops, and guys wearing pink on an average day. You know where and what the Naval Academy is- and probably have friends or family members who go/went there. It isn't weird to drive your boat to a friends house or resturant. We have skiing out west, farm country to the north, the bay right in the middle, the ocean out to the east, and suburbs all over, take your pick. Ocean city contains two kinds of people; old people living out their golden years, and college kids working and achieving a continous state of drunkeness all summer long! We can drink any city/state under the table. Kids start drinking in middle school and by 10th grade can out-drink college seniors. The best BEI RUIT players are all Maryland born and bred (PS- REAL MARYLANDERS CALL IT BEI RUIT, NOT BEER PONG!!). The best night life. We call it DC not Washington. We can hit the club, drink at a friend's house, and go to southern Maryland for boating, crabbing and offroading, all in one weekend. We have an excellent selection of colleges to party at on weekends! We have 2 of the top 10 richest county's in the country-and yes, we're that cocky. We know how to drive in a traffic circle and we can pump our own gas. Old Bay seasoning is awesome and very accessible here! Calling pizza, pie is just gay. We get tons of snow days and use them to drink and go snowboarding. Schools in the counties get closed if even one snowflake comes out of the sky, they break into programming on tv and radio to update you on the current weather conditions and the impending "blizzard". Forget real Mexican food, Chipotle is the best. We have some of the best lacrosse in the world. Bayhawks; MLL National Champs and Hopkins; NCAA National Champs. Your kids start playing lacrosse as soon as they can hold a stick. We call a creek a "crick". We have soda not pop. BURGER COOKIES! You really really really hate the Steelers, Yankees, Duke and the Colts... and by hate... we mean we'd literally kill their fans. Every time you go to see the Orioles you hope a homerun breaks one of the warehouse windows...(and even though we usually lose, the games are still fun to go to and get drunk). You remember where you were when the Ravens won the Superbowl and the Terps won the National Championship. Grown men who wear purple are manly....We all know Ray and Jamal didn't have anything to do with those crimes... Speaking of crimes- MD has the second highest murder rate in the country. You can take apart a crab like a surgeon. Maryland Rocks!

"Crabcakes and football!! That's what Maryland does!"- Wedding Crashers

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