.44 Magnum Retirement Plan

When you fail to save and invest enough money for retirement and grow too old or get sick and can no longer work to earn money to maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to. The .44 Magnum Retire Plan may be an option for you! Just place a loaded, high powered firearm to the side of your head or in your mouth and pull the trigger. All your retirement worries will disappear in an instant!

Clarence: “Hey Lance, how is your retirement portfolio looking?”.
Lance: “It’s strong to quite strong”.
Clarence: “Nice! You must have gotten in early on some wireless I.P.O.’s and made a killing!”.
Lance: “No. Truth be told, I haven’t saved or invested shit towards retirement. I’m 68 now and in failing health. I’m on the .44 Magnum Retirement Plan!”.

Death Bears

Death Bears are stuffed teddy bears and or other various stuffed animals that are left at a location where someone has died tragically - usually as the result of homicide. They are almost always affixed to a tree, utility pole, fence or street sign near or at the crime scene using nails, wire, twine, string, or ribbon.

Death Bears are often accompanied by empty liquor, beer, wine or champagne bottles including, but not limited to, 1800 Silver Tequila, Grey Goose Vodka, Seagram's Vodka, Skyy Vodka, New Amsterdam Vodka, Remy Martin, Hennessey, Moet, Boone's Farm, Steel Reserve 211, Magnum and Colt 45. Custom made "Rest-In-Peace" (R.I.P.) style t-shirts bearing the victim's photo, candles, balloons, personal knick-knacks and sometimes actual police crime scene tape can also be present with Death Bears.

Death Bears are left by family members, relatives, friends, acquaintances, neighbors and sometimes complete strangers in remembrance of the victim in the form of a memorial shrine.

"Man, I wish the city would send someone out to clean up all those Death Bears that were left on the corner last week after that gang-banger got smoked in a drive-by."

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Fart Bellows

Fart Bellows is the opposite of a Dutch Oven. Instead of trapping a person under bed covers after releasing noxious gas fumes from one's ass, the flatulist begins pumping and fanning (expanding and contracting) the bedding covers which expels the gas fumes out from underneath the blankets and sheets into the open air in the bedroom. Person's lying in the bed and anyone entering the bedroom after the fact all fall victim to the fart bellows.

After using the "Fart Bellows" method while lying in bed, Billy caused his girlfriend Gertrude to puke all over the night stand and wall.

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Park Coke

Low grade, cheap cocaine usually cut with low grade dilutant cutting agents such as meat tenderizer, boric acid, laxitatives or laundry detergent.

Kendall: “Where did you get this?”
Greg: “It’s from a connection in the park”.
Kendall: “Park coke? I’m doing park coke? Are you fucking kidding me?”. That is just perfect. I’ll be lucky if I have any nostrils left after this”.