Sailor

The sailors of the United States Navy are among the most disciplined, devoted, and well-trained fighting men the world has ever known. They drink gasoline and piss fire, The spit bullets and shit bombs, and will swim across the ocean with a knife in their teeth just for the chance to carve up those that threaten their homeland.

Modern day sailors leave wakes of dead bodies or smoldering craters wherever they go. They are sneaky sons of bitches, and usually the only thing that lets you know they are present is the earsplitting howl of an incoming tomahawk missile, or the cold steel of an oil-slick blade slicing through your throat.

Rumor has it that sailors are rowdy drunks. This is absolutely true. No other branch of the service can stand up to the fury of a US sailor's binge drinking. The Coast Guard spills their wine, the Air Force wets themselves, the Army passes out, and the Marine Corps bitterly sit alone at the bar muttering bad gay jokes to themselves.

There is a rivalry between the US Marine Corps and the US Navy. This is the result of the quantity of beautiful exotic women that sailors make love to every time they pull into a foreign port. The Marines are jealous of this, because they only get to fuck Ali-Babba and his goats. There are no fine women out in the desert. The Marines spread lies about sailors, calling them cowardly or homosexual, but never to their faces, that is unwise.

Don't fuck with US Navy Sailors.

HONOR, COURAGE, COMMITMENT.
HOOYA NAVY

Foreigner one: Hey! An American warship ship just pulled into port!

Foreigner two: Oh shit, sailors! Hide the women and the booze!

1205👍 594👎