Uni-vag

Big enough to hold every galussy.

Did you see Matt scream at that tiny bug the other day? What a Uni-vag.

Boeri

A person who is so beloved that you cannot help but to hug them every time they walk through the door.

I didn’t want to hug Richard but he’s such a boeri that I had no control of my body and had to.

Bengal Bros

Verb. The act of hardcore fucking yourself by taking the same team as Michael Butler.

Ain’t no way I’m gonna win this bet. Just found out that me and Butler are Bengal Bros.

Bengal Bro

When you inadvertently bet the same team as your mush friend all but guaranteeing a loss.

I thought Cincinnati was a lock then I found out Butler picked them too. Now we’re Bengal Bros.

Knipfglected

Accepting an invite to an event from your superior. Then standing them up using nonsensical excuses.

Jason: “I can’t believe you’re not coming with me after you told me you would.”
Mike: “You were serious about that?! My bad.”
Jason: “I feel so Knipfglected.”

lawded

//verb// to drop not so subtle hints that you are more into your spouse’s old college buddy (the one with the great hair) then him/her.

SR: “Man, my wife totally lawded me again last night.”
CE: “Yeah?”
SR: “All I did was mention the Deacs score and she was all…’That reminds me, I wonder what Tarver’s been up to? Have you heard from him lately, honey?’”
CE: “Man that’s cold.”

Knifpicking

Verb: the act of diminishing perfectly good nosh that a detail has brought by suggesting they should have brought something else…while eating that nosh.

MK: (while eating the chips): “Did you bring in these chips?”
AZ: “Yes. I thought you’d enjoy them.”
MK: (still eating them): “I would if they were cheddar flavored.”
AZ: “Man, you’re just knifpicking.”