Six Pack Pickup

When a woman is so homely a man would not consider her until he had six beers.

George: I think that woman over there is hot.

Peter: Really? You gotta be kidding me. How many beers have you had?

George: Six.

Peter: Figures. Go after your six pack pickup and enjoy your coyote morning.

3👍 2👎

Right side of the dirt

Alive. Not dead and buried.

Tom: I had a very bad car accident last week. Busted my leg.
Jill: At least you wound up on the right side of the dirt.

14👍 1👎

Debride

When the groom breaks the engagement just before the wedding.

Jack: I just can't go through with the wedding tomorrow. Gotta call it off.

Bill: Uh, oh, here comes debride.

43👍 30👎

On Site Audit

The point in Internet dating when two people agree to meet in person.

Jackie: You know that I guy I've talking to on that Internet dating site? Well, we're actually going to meet this Friday.

Linda: So, you finally screwed up enough courage for an on site audit.

2👍 4👎

Don't park me.

To control someone's success.

Boss- I'm lowering your commission. You're making too much money.

Salesman - Don't park me. I quit.

Shovel Ready

When a man or woman is so needy for a relationship he/she will believe just about any bullshit to convince themselves they've found Mr/Ms Right.

Bill: See that woman at the end of the bar?
Bob: Yeah.
Bill: She is so desparate to have a boyfriend that you can easily bullshit your way into her panties. Go talk to her, she's shovel ready.

55👍 9👎

Hemorrhoid

Someone who is attractive at first then becomes very annoying.

Jack: Why did you break up with Susan?
Jim: She's the type of woman who grows on you then becomes a real pain in the ass.
Jack: Ah, a hemorrhoid.

51👍 83👎